Elul :: Paranoia Strikes Deep

In 1966 I was a Sophomore in high school, with all the cool that comes with that... NOT.

Buffalo Springfield had just released their song For What It's Worth. Several (if not most of the) lines from that song made it into our cultural vocabulary, not the least being this one that anyone from my generation can sing as soon as the word paranoia is mentioned:

Paranoia strikes deep

Into your life it will creep

It starts when you're always afraid

You step out of line, the man comes and takes you away

Since I was not in the habit of stepping out of line, I personally didn't give too much thought to the man coming and taking me away, but I certainly observed it all around me. But I never really gave any thought, until now, about how my perception of God is very much like that. I'm sure some of that could have to do with growing up knowing that I was in for some unpleasant discipline if I stepped over my mother's line of Disobedience, Disrespect, or Dishonesty. Or the cultural lie that was perpetuated on us for years (until we figured out the truth) that for the months of October-December we knew to tread lightly if we wanted to be on the Nice List for Christmas. It should hardly be a surprise that children come to equate God with other authority figures in their lives, so it follows that young minds would develop the same trepidation about God and breaking any of the Ten Commandments. That was enough to keep me in line, anyway.

But today's Elul devotional brought up this provocative thought: After eating from the Tree in the Garden, the man and woman introduced into our DNA a distorted view of what constitutes Good and Evil.  "We project the evil that is now a part of us onto each other and onto all our life-circumstances....we even imagine that we see evil in the Holiest of All.  We think He hates us instead of loves us.  We think He wants to hurt us instead of heal us, and to condemn us instead of support and empower us."

So, I suppose my challenge for today is to stop and consider: How are some of the ways that I view YHVH through a grid of paranoia? Is it because I don't trust Him when He says He loves me and desires only the best for me? Let's face it, I know what my "best" looks like - am I putting God in a box by limiting what His love looks like? Or is it that I think He can't really get past the unlovable things about me?

Food for thought.

Thanks, Christine Miller, for sharing your amazing art!