Let me be perfectly honest. I don't always care much for the direction the Elul devotions take. And when it comes to examining my inmost thoughts, I'm sure I am not the only person who feels more than a little discomfort when it comes to honest self-examination.
So, when today's devotional ended with the challenge:
...surrender to [YHVH] our ‘right to privacy’ [really our ‘right of self-deception’] and expose every last hidden pocket of selfishness, worldliness, and sin – to His Constant Scrutiny and Counsel...
ending with the words of Psalm 139:
O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether...
...Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.
My reaction was, Really? He already knows what I think - is it really necessary for me to dredge it up and examine it? Can't we just move along?
I get that this is a season of self-examination and turning our attention to YHVH. And, because I voluntarily signed up for this course and paid my tuition, I'm going to set aside my discomfort and allow for a little dredging so I can teshuvah - repent and return to YHVH - from my secret thoughts that don't bring Him glory and certainly don't do me any good.
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