COVID Musings (Update)

This is an update of my previous musings about the whole pandemic paranoia. Other, much more scholarly and/or scientific articles and blogs have been written over the past several months. Like this one.

But, harking back to my original comments in March when this whole shutdown began, I quoted CDC when I said:

CDC estimates that influenza has resulted in between 9 million – 45 million illnesses, between 140,000 – 810,000 hospitalizations and between 12,000 – 61,000 deaths annually since 2010.

So... let's just take a peek at what the current COVID stats are and see how they compare. (I copied and pasted from CDC's actual website.)

I'm not sure this is the time or place (nor do I have the data or credentials) to comment on the blatant padding of statistics that we are all well aware of. (We've all seen or heard about the memes...)

We've also read or heard about doctors reporting on the falsification of COVID statistics at various hospitals and care facilities. No one is going to ever be able to give an honest report of how many people actually died from COVID, compared to how many deaths were attributed to COVID. So, while 249k deaths is markedly higher than the "norm" of 12-16k deaths attributed to influenza each year, I think I am safe if saying that: 

• YES, there is a pandemic. (Because by definition, a 'pandemic' is a disease that is prevalent over a whole country or the world)
• YES, the COVID virus has been responsible for the deaths of many people (possibly .02% of those who have actually contracted the virus)
• YES, some people are at higher risk than others of dying from the virus.
• YES, washing our hands and refraining from hugging and smooching during 'flu season is a smart idea.
• YES, staying home from work (or church or the store, etc.) is to be recommended when you are not well.

But, I think I am also safe in saying that certain government officials have grossly overstepped their authority in dictating (I do not use that world lightly) how we live our lives in where we go or what we do. As if we are a bunch of 5-year-olds who don't have enough sense to cover our mouths when we sneeze.

I still believe that most people have enough common sense (and hopefully, enough common decency) to sequester or self-quarantine if they are sick. Or to self-isolate if they are in fact in danger due to underlying conditions of being at higher risk. 

I am just fed up with Nanny State officials assuming that none of us have brains or care about our fellow human being. And I am way beyond fed up with the notion that healthy people cannot be in charge of their own bodies. 

I wonder how the suicide rate this year compares to a normal year... maybe that is something to consider as well. Because frankly, this isolation from family and friends is doing far more damage to our society than anything I have seen in a long time.

Or maybe that was the idea all along?

White is not a race: Or Why I Write “Human” on my Census Questionnaire

I have long been troubled with the question we find everywhere on various forms such as medical, DMV, census, asking us to label ourselves as White, Black, Hispanic, Asian… etc. Finally, about 30 years ago, I decided that I was tired of being forced into an artificial identity box and made the (to me) bold and audacious choice to self-identity as HUMAN from that point on.

I was sure the census police were going to come looking for me and throw me into some kind of cultural orientation re-training camp, but shockingly, nothing happened. No one batted an eye.

In retrospect, had the question asked me to identify my heritage or ethnicity, I probably would not have cared one whit. But the question: What is your RACE, followed by the listing of colors Black or White is really what set me off.

White is not a race. Black is not a race. Neither are Asian or Hispanic races. We’ve all seen the PassItOn billboard quoting Garth Brooks. We are all one race: humankind.

The original basis for my decision was purely Biblical: Genesis 3:20 states that Eve “was the mother of all living.” Revelation 7:9 describes the people of the earth as “nations, tribes, peoples, and tongues” ... no mention anywhere as to the color of a person’s skin. The closest they even get to the concept of ethnicity would be “tribes.”

And will someone please show me how I am supposed to fit into the 16 allotted spaces the fact that I am Norwegian, Swedish, German, French, Finnish, Irish, Spanish, Polish, Austrian, Portuguese, Scottish and English? And those are just the tribes with which I can identify. Throw the monkey wrench of untraceable adoptions a few generations back, and who knows the tribes from which I hail.

Frankly, if you live in the United States, or the Western hemisphere for that matter, unless you just stepped off the boat within the last generation, what tribe does anyone fall under? A simple DNA spit test is going to reveal that even if you think you are 100% Italian (or Greek or Egyptian, etc.) chances are you are going to be a mixture of cultures. Let’s face it, invasions have been taking place all over the globe for millennia.

And lest you are tempted to disagree with me and call me racist, let’s hear what people who happen to be of color have to say on the topic:

Thoughts by Morgan Freeman on racism in a 60 Minutes interview with Mike Wallace:

FREEMAN: …I don’t want a Black History Month. Black history is American history.

WALLACE: How are we going to get rid of racism until …?

FREEMAN: Stop talking about it. I’m going to stop calling you a white man. And I’m going to ask you to stop calling me a black man. I know you as Mike Wallace. You know me as Morgan Freeman. You’re not going to say, “I know this white guy named Mike Wallace.” Hear what I’m saying?

Martin Luther King in his famous “I have a dream” speech:

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

The idea that race is nothing more than an artificial social construct is not a new idea. More than 100 years ago, American sociologist W.E.B. DuBois (himself a person of color) was concerned that race was being used as a biological explanation for what he understood to be social and cultural differences between different populations of people. He spoke out against the idea of "white" and "black" as discrete groups, claiming that these distinctions ignored the scope of human diversity.

In an article published February 4, 2016 in the journal Science, four scholars say racial categories are weak proxies for genetic diversity and need to be phased out… "It's a concept we think is too crude to provide useful information, it's a concept that has social meaning that interferes in the scientific understanding of human genetic diversity and it's a concept that we are not the first to call upon moving away from," said Michael Yudell, a professor of public health at Drexel University in Philadelphia.

I can testify from personal experience that it doesn't matter what color your skin is: if you are raised in a different culture you are going to have a different outlook on just about everything when you compare yourself to someone else with the same skin tones who was raised elsewhere. Period. It's not about your skin, folks.

Apparently, I was not anywhere near as bold and audacious as I originally believed, which is completely fine with me. I’d never want to be stuck in a box anyway.

Keeping Some Perspective

Every morning, I'm hopeful to see something different, but until we at least get some rain, I fear we will have more of the same. We are thankful that we have an air purifier and not much requiring us to be outside.

It was sad, though, to check the update and learn the confirmed death toll has been raised to 12. What we formerly called The Bear Fire, now referred to as “The West Zone of the North Complex” has burned 72,500 acres with 7% containment. The larger North Complex has burned 252,313 acres at 21% contained across multiple counties.

I’m not sure that living in another state is necessarily the answer. The latest statistics I can find for Hurricane Laura in the Gulf States put the fatalities at 14 and estimates up to $12 Billion in damages. Last year, flooding in the Midwest caused upwards of $1.3 Billion in damages in Iowa and Nebraska, with 3/4 of the state of Nebraska being declared a disaster area, and with 3 deaths. And that’s just a few of the recent natural disasters in the continental US.

Earthquakes, tornadoes, cyclones, volcanoes, famine around the globe means that there is really no place on Earth that is exempt from what the Bible refers to as “the Earth groaning.”

Not to be a pessimist here, I prefer to think I’m a realist. But it helps me keep in perspective that we are not the only place experiencing suffering. It doesn’t make the suffering less real, but it certainly helps me adjust my focus away from myself.

*cross posted from my photo blog

44084 :: States Aflame

It could be tempting to default to complaining about the smell of smoke in the air and ash covering every surface. But when I think of the people who are evacuated or even have lost their homes, it is almost like a slap in the face.

There are so many directions my mind goes in these situations. Part of me is angry and would love to see domestic terrorists who are starting so many of these fires tried for treason and yes, even put in front of a firing squad. In my mind, they deserve no less.

Another part of me ponders the enormous loss of property and life and I think of how we bring nothing into this world and we take nothing out of it. Having lost several friends and family (not fire related) in the last month, I am reminded again of just how transitory this life is. That allows me to adjust my focus and say with Job, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.”

So, wearing a mask and hosing off the patio and car seems like a drop in the bucket.

Cross posted from my daily photo project 

What is a "Torah Observant Believer"?

-adapted from Katie Hirn at Hirn Homeschoolers *

I think the easiest way to explain what a Torah observant Believer is to define each of the words in the name:

A Believer is a follower/believer in Yeshua as the Messiah.  Yeshua (often called Jesus in mainstream Christianity) was a man who lived, died, and rose from the dead over 2000 years ago.  The story of his birth, life, death, and resurrection is told in the Bible.  The first four books of the New Testament are called Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and they are the story of Yeshua’s life as told by four different men who were eye-witnesses to his life and ministry.  Believers are people who believe that this man, Yeshua was the promised Messiah of the God of Israel, YHVH.

A believer is someone who accepts that Yeshua is the promised Messiah (Savior), and that He lived a sinless life and died and rose again to prove that He conquered sin and death.  Sin is anything we think, say, or do that deviates from God’s Instructions on how to live a life set apart to Him which effectively separates us from fellowship or a relationship with God.  A believer knows that through the sacrificial death of Yeshua, our sins were paid for.  A believer knows that all people are sinners and can only be saved from the penalty of death, which is eternal separation from God, through the sacrificial blood of Yeshua.  A believer is someone who, once they admit they are a sinner and accepts the gift of God’s gracious forgiveness, then commits to live their life to glorify Yeshua.  A true believer turns from their life of sin to a life of obedience to YHVH (the name of God in the Bible).

The Torah is the name of the first five books of the Bible, Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy.  The word Torah means “law, instruction, teaching, Word, writings, and/or commands.”  The first five books of the Bible are made up of all the instructions YHVH God gave to His people, the Israelites (which also included a "mixed multitude" of non-Israelite followers of YHVH.)  These instructions were given to them to bless them, benefit them, and guide them in the Way of YHVH.

The word Observant can mean different things, but in this situation it is best defined as “to see or recognize something as beneficial and blessed and set apart by YHVH, and therefore to keep that thing set apart in one’s life and home.”

A Torah Observant believer therefore is a believer and follower of Yeshua Messiah, who believes that the Torah, the first five books of the Bible, have blessing, beneficial, and sacred instructions for life, and therefore they apply those instructions to their own life and homes as best they can in this day and culture.  There are only four obvious differences between most evangelical Christians and most Torah Observant believers. 

1.  Most Torah observant believers keep Saturday, the Sabbath day, set apart and often worship on this day instead of Sunday, and they try not to work or cause others to work on it. 

2.  Most Torah Observant believers celebrate the Biblical feasts for their holidays, as found in Leviticus 23.  These are often referred to as “Jewish holidays”, when in reality Scripture calls them “The Lord’s Appointed Festivals.”

3.  Most Torah observant Christians don’t eat pork or shellfish or any of the other unclean animals listed in Leviticus 11. 

4.  Lastly, many Torah Observant believers wear tzitzit on their clothes as reminder to walk in the Ways of  YHVH, as commanded in Numbers 15 – much like a married person wears a wedding band as a symbol of their marriage.

None of these things is required for salvation: they are how we walk out our beliefs, how we respond to YHVH and His gift of salvation through our Messiah, Yeshua.

A Torah observant believer is a person who knows that they are a sinner saved by the gracious love of the Savior (Messiah) Yeshua, through His sacrificial death.  They are a believer who knows they do not deserve the forgiveness of a Savior.  They love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength, and choose to walk out their faith in accordance to the Instructions YHVH has revealed in the Torah every day, until their Lord and Savior returns.

* I have edited and inserted a few of my own comments into Katie's original post.

44063 :: August - Fire Season

    Not going to lie to you, folks. The skies are ugly, the air is nasty, and people around here get nervous when we see the ash piling up on cars and in the parking lot. Evacuation checklists are going around, and people who ordinarily shun wearing their masks have no problem with them now that the threat is visible.

    45 miles away sounds like a safe distance, but in our area we don't like those odds. We know that winds can shift and with our firefighting resources already spread thin throughout the state on 27 active incidents, we have to step it up and do what we can to take care of ourselves. 

    And if that includes bucking a trailer load of dead limbs, bark and leaves to the dump, that's what we have to do. 

44014 :: Granny

My Dad and I used to enjoy researching our genealogy together. I also collaborated with my uncle frequently as we tried to fill in the blanks on Dad's side of the tree. There is a huge, gaping hole where my grandmother's story should be told. Up until now, we have just had to be satisfied with knowing her adopted parents and her biological mother's name. I say "satisfied with" tongue-in-cheek, because there was absolutely no sense of satisfaction there.

Grandma did not care for her adopted family. She had made that very clear over the years. (As we uncovered the evidence of wife swapping, we started to understand.) She also had certain opinions about her birth mother that I now realize stemmed from the feeling of abandonment and rejection that she never really was able to resolve during her lifetime. Grandma told herself that her birth mother had to give her up because "she was mentally ill and incapable of caring for a child." That must have made it less painful for her, and was a reasonable excuse for the person who is left wondering, "How could a mother abandon her own child?" Of course, no such record was documented, and so we are left to wonder as well.

With the passing of my parents' generation, it is now left to my cousin and me to continue the search. And the more we uncover, the sadder the story. We have yet to really unearth any concrete evidence of names or places, other than the names and places on her deed of adoption. Finally, in a momentary stroke of genius, I Googled "unwed mothers" and "Kansas City, MO", then marveled at the many stories that unfolded.

Apparently, for decades Kansas City was known as the "Baby Hub" of the USA. As a matter of fact, the PBS show, History Detectives, devoted an entire episode 311 to the subject. Not that it gives us any concrete evidence, since all of the homes for "unwed and troubled young women" have long since closed and with it, most of the records lost, destroyed, or remaining sealed.

Still... I cannot help but reflect on the changes in our attitudes regarding adoption, illegitimacy, and unwed mothers. I know we are not that far removed from The Scarlet Letter and outright condemnation of anyone tainted by the misfortune of not having been born into the Standard definition of Family. Even today, we treat those children differently. I personally know someone whose in-laws were opposed to their child marrying "a bastard." Nicely put.

And we wonder why the abortion epidemic exploded as it did. It's so easy to believe the lie that terminating an unexpected or inconvenient pregnancy is so much easier than trying to raise a child without a "complete" family. Pish posh. We are wrong on so many levels. 1) It is not easy to terminate a pregnancy. It will haunt you for the rest of your life. And, 2) "Complete" is what you make it. A one-parent family is by far to be preferred over one with an alcoholic, abusive, or otherwise emotionally impaired parent. Think about it.

In the end, illegitimate or not, abusive dysfunctional adoptive parents or not, I am still thankful for my granny and the input and influence she had in my life. 

44013 :: RYBW Lives Matter

Welcome to another day, another month… and the official 2nd half of 2020. We can only pray it will be better than the 1st half, with all its changes and challenges.

As frustrated (and disgusted) as I get with all the nonsense and drama, I hold out hope that human beings can still learn to get along, live side-by-side even with those that don’t look or think the same.

That’s why I will continue to say, even though it is currently “politically incorrect”, ALL LIVES MATTER. Black lives have always mattered. Hispanic lives, Asian lives, Armenian lives, Bosnian lives, Irish lives, Norwegian lives, Inuit lives, Aboriginal lives. Every.Single.Human.Being on this planet deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. When will we stop putting labels on other people?

I’m always hoping for a better today.

cross-posted from my photo project

44012 :: Diversions - or a reflection on vacation

Diversions are nice but do little to change life. That doesn’t stop us from seeking them or enjoying them.

If nothing more, they do give us a moment to catch our breath, take a pause, and reflect on the important. It’s also important to get some perspective and realize there are things in life that are not our responsibility or under our control, and it’s equally important to determine the appropriate way to process and respond to those things.

Getting frustrated, angry or sad have been my go-to responses to so many things that are not under my jurisdiction.

I am trying to learn to be more philosophical and try to see things from other points of view. That’s really the only way I can think of, besides prayer of course, to getting through so much of life’s frustrations.

May Day... mayday

Welcome to May, and part 2 of 3 installments of the year 2020. Who knew, when we were saying goodbye to 2019 that we would be embarking on our own version of “The Roaring 20’s”?

In all honesty, for us this year doesn’t look all that different from last… Well, maybe with a change of scenery, and without a parent dying or a grandchild being born… ok, it’s a lot different.

But as for the rest of the year? Well, I’ll admit that I’m just a little concerned that our COVID interlude was really our opportunity to take a pause and experience a season of camaraderie and pulling together before the heat of another political battle tries to tear us apart again. Call me a pessimist if you will, and I hope I am wrong, but I hear the gears winding up again.

Tsogile sentle wena

It is interesting (to me) that in some cultures, the polite way of greeting involves asking if a person has eaten or slept well. That kind of leads me to wonder how polite we come across to other cultures with our “Hey! How’s it going?” or the French equivalent «ça va?»

I have long claimed that I am not a morning person, but I am coming to discover that it’s not the morning that I am averse to, it’s the waking up before I have had a good night’s rest. These past few mornings I have found myself voluntarily getting up before my alarm goes off, and this morning I discovered that it was actually quite pleasant to have the river bank to myself as I watched the morning unfold. I would say it was nice to enjoy the peace and quiet, but the birds were making all kinds of noise, so it was hardly peaceful or quiet!

We all know this will only last a few more months, and then the sun will be coming over the horizon a few minutes later each day. That means it will be a few minutes harder each morning to beat my alarm clock. But I am enjoying it while it lasts.

Life's Ups and Downs

I'm having trouble wrapping my brain around the current level of hysteria regarding the Corona virus outbreak, in light of the fact that people every year (every day!) die from complications from influenza¹. And not just that, even more people die every day from malaria, but no one is running around like a chicken with their head cut off buying toilet paper and hand sanitizer (as if those things could stem the tide of anything.)

I don't mean to sound callous or hard-hearted about those unfortunate people who find themselves in quarantine on ships or air force bases, or worse, in ICU in critical condition because they have contracted this virus. I am not insensitive and know enough people personally who are going through that right now, as a matter of fact.

It just seems that people have blown things totally out of perspective when it comes to a virus outbreak. Seriously? We have to wait until the media whips everyone into a frenzy before we get religious about washing our hands, for heaven's sake?

So, in the interest of gaining some of that aforementioned perspective, let's just spell out the facts:
As of today in just the U.S.:

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-in-us.html

That's right, 29 deaths in the US, a little over 4,000 worldwide.

https://heavy.com/news/2020/02/coronavirus-covid-19-cases-deaths-updates/

Now let's look at what is really killing people:

New York, 25 April 2018 – Every two minutes, a child dies of malaria. Malaria is a preventable and treatable disease that remains, in many regions of the world, a major public health problem. Ninety-one countries currently experience ongoing malaria transmission. Almost half the world’s population – about 3.2 billion people – are at risk of malaria. In 2016 alone, 216 million new cases of malaria were reported, and approximately 445,000 people died of the disease – most of them children.²

Elsewhere in the U.S. (10 leading causes of death in 2017-2018, from CDC website - bear in mind, these numbers are multiplied by 100,000):

(Don't even get me started that the number of babies killed in the name of "choice" top, yet don't make, the list.)

Do I think people need to be proactive and wash their hands? Yes.
Am I going to be booking a cruise ship to Wuhan anytime soon? No.
If you are or have someone who has special needs or a compromised immune system, you are hopefully already being circumspect about exposing yourself to environments or situations without some kind of precaution. That is just common sense.

I do not normally subscribe to conspiracy theories, and it's certainly not for want of hearing about them at every turn, but one does have to wonder why such a big-fat-hairy deal is being made of this in an election year? Oh wait... didn't the same thing happen in 2016 with the Zika virus?

I'll just close with this thought: WASH YOUR HANDS and STOP LIVING IN FEAR!

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.”

Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler And from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler.

You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor of the arrow that flies by day, Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday. - Psalm 91:1-6

¹ CDC estimates that influenza has resulted in between 9 million – 45 million illnesses, between 140,000 – 810,000 hospitalizations and between 12,000 – 61,000 deaths annually since 2010.

² https://www.unicef.org/press-releases/ten-things-you-didnt-know-about-malaria

Ironic, Isn't It?

As we settle in to life at the river, reining in our personal space a bit, as it were, it occurs to me that there is an irony to life. (More than just one, I'm sure!)

As I reflect back over the past 48 years I've spent adulting, I am struck by the fact that I have spent most of those years on a quest to accumulate things. Granted, most of I what I have been chasing after have been useful things, but things nonetheless.

In my quest for efficiency in the kitchen, there have been a multitude of gadgets: food processor, VitaMix blender, KitchenAid mixer, grain grinder, centrifugal juicer, citrus juicer, coffee grinder, food dehydrator, crockpots and pressure cookers, turkey roaster, pressure canner, not to mention the accompanying canning jars and assorted paraphernalia.

In my defense, I actually did use all of these things. And, if I had room to do so, I would probably continue on that path. But the reality is, I do not.

And, it seems somewhat counter productive to be spending money to rent not just one, but two storage units (filled to capacity) to save all of these things on the off-chance I may be Miss Suzy Pioneer Homemaker again some day. Let's face it, I am closer to 70 than I was 5 minutes ago, and the two of us can't possibly eat that amount of food I could possibly can.

So, the next year or two is going to be spent on a quest to get rid of much of what I just spent years and many thousands of dollars accumulating. (Yes, I have heard of Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace... )

Could there have been a better answer?

#lifeinthenorthstate

Today I embarked on a new photo blog project, and will find out if I have the staying power to stick it out for an entire year. Last time it was a family affair, and only once a week - with great to marginal participation.

Now that we have moved to a new locale, I have started documenting my mornings with a single photo of the sunrise and will see where it takes me.

Who can blame me for enjoying this view...

I've Got Rhythm... Or Not

Back in the day, when I religiously practiced "flying" with The F.L.Y. Lady, I believed it was literally true that I could train myself to learn a new habit in 21 days... as a plus, her 28 days gave me a week's worth of grace. It would seem that 21 days is purely anecdotal, but not scientifically verifiable.

According to a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to get used to a new routine, form a new habit, build a new behavior. All this new information does is to give me pause as I am learning my new rhythm for living in a 300 square foot travel trailer. Pause to not beat myself up and have unrealistic expectations about the adjustment period.

Sunday I made biscuits for breakfast. It was an exercise in patience, to be sure. Let's just say, Julia Childs would probably not be comfortable in my kitchen. (Never mind that I could not even find my rolling pin - just finding a place to knead the dough took several minutes of rearranging just about everything.) But I was not frustrated; if nothing else, it was re-affirming that I could overcome the (admittedly minuscule) challenge.

I am also realizing just how little I can get by with. I don't want to say I am a kitchen gadget junkie...  I don't want to say it, but reality would say otherwise. And guess what, I don't need about half of the cooking tools that I have accumulated over the years.

The same is true just a few steps outside of the kitchen. My project for this weekend is to clear off and designate spaces for all the boxes and files piled up on my desk. No small task, but again, I am not going to beat myself up. And sticky notes have proven to be my new best friend for being able to find where I have stashed things.

It's a process. And there is grace in the process.

What You Don't See

As I am going through the last moving bit, mainly cleaning and tossing, I marvel at the level of dirt that lies underneath and behind almost everything in the apartment. I hardly consider myself Martha Stewart by any stretch of the imagination - neither do I consider myself a slovenly wretch who wouldn't know a broom handle from a scrub brush. Yet, under ever piece of furniture, behind every picture frame, I continue to battle layers of dust and grime that I was previously (and happily) oblivious to.

And, isn't that always how it is? Unless you're up for moving all the furniture to the center of the room in order to bust those dust bunnies quarterly, this is what you wind up with when moving day arrives. Ironically, I had previously been patting myself on the back for "cleaning as I go along" - wiping down baseboards, window sills, door jambs, etc. Well, I'm here to testify, that is not where the real dirt lurks. No, it's under the couch, at the back of the pantry cupboard shelf, under the dryer.

The contemplative part of my brain wants to draw a spiritual parallel to this.

Psalm 66:18-20 New King James Version
 If I regard iniquity in my heart, The Lord will not hear.
 But certainly God has heard me; He has attended to the voice of my prayer.
 Blessed be God, Who has not turned away my prayer, Nor His mercy from me!

Thankfully, we don't have to wait each year for the Day of Atonement to be forgiven of our sins, but daily as we become aware of our shortcomings, we confess and He forgives.

1 John 1:9 New King James Version
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If only house cleaning was as easy.

Are We There Yet?

The perennial question asked for decades (if not longer!) "Are we there yet?" That is what everyone has been asking us lately.

Yes, we are "there." And we are here, as well. (Cue the Beatles: Here, There, and Everywhere.)

It feels like Finals Week, although I haven't been to school in many, MANY years. Working two (part-time) jobs, moving, cleaning, trying to figure out where to fit everything that seems like a "need" into the trailer... It's exhausting, and I have been complaining, probably more than necessary.

The tough questions now begin: How many sets of sheets and towels, how many forks, knives and spoons, how many (fill in the blank) do two people really need? Because, there is room only for so much - even in 300 square feet. I decidedly am not Imelda Marcos (infamous for her 3,000+ pairs of shoes, for those too young to recognize the reference to Philippines' First Lady, whose husband's regime was overthrown in 1986 due to corruption and dishonesty), but it is still somewhat of a challenge to corral even my measly collection.

As tired and sore as I am from climbing up and down a stepladder to scrub cabinets and cupboards, I think the real work begins now, as we begin to make hard decisions about what to toss and what to keep - and where to put what we keep. Another go 'round is decidedly in store for us after this first one, and that's where the emotional choices will begin as we sort through hand knit sweaters that no longer fit, hand made doll furniture, hand crocheted doilies made by great-grandmothers and aunts long passed, fishing lures that are no longer legal, skis that are out of style. (You get the picture.)

I don't want to say I come from a family of hoarders - because I have seen a true hoarder's home - but it would not be a stretch to say I come from a family of collectors, and savers. (Yes, there is a difference!) After all, my grandparents came though the Great Depression, so saving things because you might need them one day is kind of ingrained into my DNA. But I am learning, slowly but surely: If I don't need it now, I don't need to save it for later. And if mysteriously a need does arise, then I will figure it out at that time. Bottom line: it makes zero sense to pay to store something that costs less than $20 and can easily be replaced or "made do" without, "just in case."

I'm getting there.

The Why Behind the What

This view greeted us when we stepped outside this morning:

Look to your left

Look to your right

I think that explains the why behind everything we have been working toward these past several months. Will it be like this every day? Oh golly, no. Come salmon season, there will be boats revving up the river to find the sweet hole, there will be fishermen hollering at each other; come summer, boaters and even tubers will be calling to each other up and down the river. And that's really OK.

The rest of the year, the most noise we hear is wild geese calling out, otters splashing off the banks, wild turkeys looking for their brood... you get the picture.

Worth the drive? Worth the hassle of downsizing and packing? It is to us.

I Ponder as I Pack

Packing, purging, and moving is a curious exercise in the absurdity of consumerism. Nothing makes me more annoyed with myself than to kiss good-bye the numerous (and I do mean numerous) craft items, yards of fabric, clever kitchen gadgets, laundry "boosters", and sadly yes, even food items that I have purchased and not used or literally consumed. Cleaning out the freezer yesterday to move it into the shop almost made my physically ill. No, it wasn't the "science experiments", as we used to call those no-longer-edible items that you find in the back of the fridge... it was the bags of things I might have used, had I had the time to get to them (or remembered that I had them.) The frozen, ready-to-fry latkes that I bought for Hanukkah... of 2018, is just one shining example of an idea that sounded good when I looked at it on the store shelf, but never saw the light of day once I got it home.

Giving away literally a storage bin of unused fabrics that looked good enough to buy over the years, but obviously not good enough to actually sew the projects that I had in mind - well, at least I console myself that it went for a good cause, since I donated it all to my sister's quilting guild. I know that beautiful fabric will make its way into quilts for the veterans, cancer patients, elderly shut-ins, etc.

Another box of unused yarn will be donated to the Waldorf school for their hand crafting clubs, I am still struggling with the multiple boxes of books that I have bought over the years that sounded interesting while I was browsing through Barnes and Noble - but I never seemed to find the time to read. (Although, come to think of it... part of the reason I am downsizing and moving into semi-retirement is so that I will have more time to do some of those things I have been putting off doing... right?) In reality, Friends of the Library is probably going to be seeing many more donations come in over the next few months.

Why do I do this? I wish I knew the answer - I could have saved myself enough money to take that river barge trip through France that I have been dreaming about for so long. One thing I have recognized is that I frequently make purchases out of boredom, instead of need. There's no other explanation for going to the store to buy a $5 item and coming home with $50 worth of stuff instead. Shopping is not a recreation, but the consumerism mentality has turned it into one. When I hear the phrase "retail therapy", I cringe. Spending money on things we don't need - especially when there are so many in actual need - is not therapeutical - it is diabolical. I'm not trying to lay a guilt trip here. There are plenty of things we spend our hard earned money on that are legitimate purchases. But there are many more things we buy because we think it will make us feel better, it was a "good deal", someone else got one and we just had to have one, too.

If nothing else, packing, purging, and moving has become, for me, an exercise in reflecting on priorities.

Try it, You'll Like It!

As we are squarely in the middle of moving and downsizing, I frequently find myself doubting my sanity. Especially today as I have been on my feet for more hours than I am normally for the total of an entire week. Yes, I know that makes me sound like a slug, but honestly, when one works at a desk all day, one does not spend a lot of time standing. Unless you have a standing desk, which I do not.

Thanks to the neighborhood idiots... I mean revelers... it was impossible to get to sleep last night until almost 1 a.m., but as soon as I hopped out of bed (granted, at 8 am) we were off and running. Many more boxes and pieces of furniture have left the building. I even had a table out front with "FREE!" signs all over everything in an attempt to avoid having to haul it all to Salvation Army on Friday. Alas, only one thing walked off, so that errand is still on the agenda.

We also discovered the fate of the rat who got into our laundry room several years ago and hid out under the freezer. Loads of things ended up in the dumpster, several boxes made their way to our new home, and many more will just have to languish in the storage unit until my next free Friday when I can dedicate a few hours to more tossing and purging.

For now, the push is on to empty the apartment, get some basic cleaning done, and set up the new home. Next comes the hard core purging, as if I have not done enough these past few months. (And judging by the fact that we have TWO storage units stuffed full, I think I know that answer to that.)

So, we are a few steps closer to our goal, many miles to go. Now, if I can stop beating myself up about not having kept up with the clutter over the past 15 years. The last time we moved, my witty husband remarked that we needed to move every 2 years in order to keep down the clutter. Turns out, he was probably right.