One box at a time

You know the joke about how you eat an elephant one bite at a time? Apparently, the same holds true for moving. I remember that last time we moved over the winter holiday... it was 1975 and we moved in one day.

30-odd years later and I have literally been moving since August. Boxes weekly to donation centers, bags to dumpsters, more boxes to storage units, and countless trips to our new abode with a carload as I go.

Today I worked both jobs, as I have been doing throughout this whole effort, yet thanks to my wonderful husband, plants were transplanted, forms were laid for a sidewalk and patio, a storage unit was emptied, and we march forward.

I am beginning to have hope that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train, after all.

Faulty Wiring

Sometimes I marvel at how differently everyone is wired. Some people find organization and being methodical are second nature.
Then there are people like me, the bumble bees of the world who flit from flower to flower when trying to get something done and never seem to accomplish one thing at a time. I read books the same way. I have 3-4 books going at any given time.

I try not to despair when looking at the list of what needs to be done in order to move, and I can't help that my brain is wired to randomly think of weird things to do at the oddest times. I promise I am not worrying about these things, but I also can't ignore them when they pop into my mind.

It is a bit disconcerting to look at the piles of things strewn about the house with seemingly no rhyme or reason. I need a handler.

Many lifetimes ago, we moved to Africa for a season. What we are dealing with now pales in comparison to trying to fit our lives into 5 55-gallon drums, a couple of Rubbermaid Action Packers and one storage unit. Something seems very wrong to me that we are trying to fit our lives into the 300 square feet of a 38' 5th wheel trailer... and yet somehow we find ourselves with not one, but THREE storage units. It kind of negates the whole idea of downsizing, to my way of thinking.

I try to convince myself that this is a temporary solution - that the 3 storage units will be pared down to one much smaller shipping container that will suffice as storage for off-season clothing, decoration, and recreation and less-frequently used household items. Does this still qualify as downsizing? Honestly, I am not beating myself up about this, and I am not trying to out-do anyone's expectations of minimalism or döstädning - I'm just trying to get a grip on things that seem to be out of control. (And yes, I also realize that I can't control everything!)

But seriously - a handler is what I need right now.

Learning what you can live without

Storage solutions in a 5th wheel have been well thought out. But going from living in a 850 square foot apartment with garage to a 300 square foot travel trailer is going to be a stark difference, no matter how you do the math.

One thing I am not content about is having to rent two storage units for all the stuff (i.e. junk) that cannot fit into our new living space, but we have yet to find the time to sort through and discard. Some of these will be easy decisions, once we stop to take a breath and start purging. The punch bowl set from our 1971 wedding will probably be the first to go, followed by the boxes of books from homeschooling, which was 30 years ago. These are definitely things I can live without. The fact that they have been in storage for all this time obviously attests to this fact.

What I am uncertain about, however, are the things I use every day... or plan to use, once my life is back on an even keel. Things like kitchen utensils and small appliances. I love to bake, but how practical (or even possible) is it for me to have my KitchenAid mixer and VitaMix blender in the 5th wheel? Or my assortment of knitting needles and yarn and various unfinished projects? And where do I even start on my books?

Didn't I think this through before taking the leap? Yes, I thought about it - but how does one really think something through before actually living it? There are so many unknowns, and this is previously unexplored territory for me, so the simple act of thinking something through is purely hypothetical until you actually walk through that door.

My very handy husband has been over-the-top gracious and thoughtful in all the things he has done these past few months in readying our new abode. Even going so far as to pour a concrete slab for a patio to keep down the mud tracked in, building a set of steps for a landing to help me enter and exit the trailer easily, he really has made this transition so much easier and I am beyond grateful for the things he has thought of that would not have occurred to me.

So, my next mission, should I choose to accept it, is to figure out exactly how many whisks and coffee mugs and measuring cups and jackets and books and changes of clothes I really "NEED" to do life.

My guess: Not nearly as many as I currently own.

Practicing Contentment - Not always as easy as you think!

When I started out sorting my thoughts into what would morph into this blog space, I chose "Practice Contentment" as my title, since that was my ultimate aim. To learn to be content with what I was given. Sometimes I am given more than I can have imagined, sometimes I have just enough of what I need. In all those places, I want my goal to be gratefulness, contentment, peace.

I'm not saying I'm perfect or that I always achieve my goal, but that doesn't change my goal, it just changes my course, or my approach. The goal is still the same. I am the one who needs to make the adjustment.

And that is where I find myself today, as furniture and long-unused items are walking out my front door - some to points unknown. What do I do with a 50-year-old folk guitar that was for many years part of my identity, but I can no longer play due to arthritic hands? All the books I have lovingly collected and curated over the years languish in boxes in storage, since my bookshelves have likewise left the building. I think Friends of the Library is about to find themselves the recipients of a truckload of books...

Things like these, the decisions to be made, the possessions to be relinquished... I thought I was ready (and I am), but the decisions are not any the less difficult, for all my readiness. In one sense, it is freeing to let go of the responsibility to care for and catalog all of these material things, on the other hand, part of me is still tied up in the belonging. 

I'm not going to pretend this part of the journey is not without its challenges.

That's not what it means to me...

One of the most often repeated phrases that I hear from people brave enough to ask me about my faith journey - assuming they stick around long enough to actually listen to what I share - is the reply, "But that's not what it means to me..." when I explain my spiritual evolution of learning how pagan traditions have crept into the Christian church and the subsequent muddling of practices that have no scriptural basis, but have somehow come to replace the guidelines that God has actually laid down for His followers in the very scriptures we claim to believe are true.*

Believe me - I hear you. Those are the exact same words I said myself at one point (at many points, to be honest.)

My testimony is a long read, so I can't blame anyone for not slogging through it. In reality, I did not write it for anyone to read, but to lay out my thought process so I could see for myself how my journey has progressed. But, the Reader's Digest version is that:

• I had my interest piqued through a presentation by Jews for Jesus on "Christ in the Passover", in which the realization of the relevancy of the whole Bible became very clear to me.

• I read two books: The first was Revolution in the Church which is a call to live as Jesus lives. The second was Pagan Christianity which explores the roots of common church practices.

• I watched a teaching video by Jim Staley called Truth or Tradition which, while perhaps not 100% verifiable on all historical points, certainly provides food for thought on a lot of traditions and practices that I had given little to no thought to over the course of my Christian life.

In fact, much of what I was learning challenged my assumption that it didn't really matter what the origins of a practice or tradition are, because "that's not what they mean to me."

The truth is: it really doesn't matter so much what something means to me. The question we should really concern ourselves with is: What does this mean to God?

I think that question is more than adequately answered if we understand just what happened with the Israelites when they left Egypt and had the incident with the golden calf in the wilderness. Growing up, I always assumed that God was punishing them for worshiping a false god. Boy, did I ever find out how wrong I was. The Israelites were actually attempting to worship their own God (YHVH), but they made the fatal error of thinking that they could worship Him using the practices they picked up on their 400 year sojourn in Egypt. I have to tell you, that realization put a whole new spin on my excuse, "That's not what it means to me."

I'm hoping that as you chew on that for a bit, a seed of doubt will be planted in your mind and you will re-think what you are saying. So what if it doesn't mean Baal worship to you. What does it mean to YHVH?

*If you're still wondering why does this even matter... consider what God Himself says in His instructions to His followers:
Deuteronomy 12: 29“When the Lord your God cuts off from before you the nations which you go to dispossess, and you displace them and dwell in their land, 30take heed to yourself that you are not ensnared to follow them, after they are destroyed from before you, and that you do not inquire after their gods, saying, ‘How did these nations serve their gods? I also will do likewise.’ 31You shall not worship the Lord your God in that way; for every abomination to the Lord which He hates they have done to their gods; for they burn even their sons and daughters in the fire to their gods. 
32 “Whatever I command you, be careful to observe it; you shall not add to it nor take away from it.