Thursday, December 26, 2019
One box at a time
30-odd years later and I have literally been moving since August. Boxes weekly to donation centers, bags to dumpsters, more boxes to storage units, and countless trips to our new abode with a carload as I go.
Today I worked both jobs, as I have been doing throughout this whole effort, yet thanks to my wonderful husband, plants were transplanted, forms were laid for a sidewalk and patio, a storage unit was emptied, and we march forward.
I am beginning to have hope that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train, after all.
Monday, December 23, 2019
Faulty Wiring
Then there are people like me, the bumble bees of the world who flit from flower to flower when trying to get something done and never seem to accomplish one thing at a time. I read books the same way. I have 3-4 books going at any given time.
I try not to despair when looking at the list of what needs to be done in order to move, and I can't help that my brain is wired to randomly think of weird things to do at the oddest times. I promise I am not worrying about these things, but I also can't ignore them when they pop into my mind.
It is a bit disconcerting to look at the piles of things strewn about the house with seemingly no rhyme or reason. I need a handler.
Many lifetimes ago, we moved to Africa for a season. What we are dealing with now pales in comparison to trying to fit our lives into 5 55-gallon drums, a couple of Rubbermaid Action Packers and one storage unit. Something seems very wrong to me that we are trying to fit our lives into the 300 square feet of a 38' 5th wheel trailer... and yet somehow we find ourselves with not one, but THREE storage units. It kind of negates the whole idea of downsizing, to my way of thinking.
I try to convince myself that this is a temporary solution - that the 3 storage units will be pared down to one much smaller shipping container that will suffice as storage for off-season clothing, decoration, and recreation and less-frequently used household items. Does this still qualify as downsizing? Honestly, I am not beating myself up about this, and I am not trying to out-do anyone's expectations of minimalism or döstädning - I'm just trying to get a grip on things that seem to be out of control. (And yes, I also realize that I can't control everything!)
But seriously - a handler is what I need right now.
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
Learning what you can live without
One thing I am not content about is having to rent two storage units for all the stuff (i.e. junk) that cannot fit into our new living space, but we have yet to find the time to sort through and discard. Some of these will be easy decisions, once we stop to take a breath and start purging. The punch bowl set from our 1971 wedding will probably be the first to go, followed by the boxes of books from homeschooling, which was 30 years ago. These are definitely things I can live without. The fact that they have been in storage for all this time obviously attests to this fact.
What I am uncertain about, however, are the things I use every day... or plan to use, once my life is back on an even keel. Things like kitchen utensils and small appliances. I love to bake, but how practical (or even possible) is it for me to have my KitchenAid mixer and VitaMix blender in the 5th wheel? Or my assortment of knitting needles and yarn and various unfinished projects? And where do I even start on my books?
Didn't I think this through before taking the leap? Yes, I thought about it - but how does one really think something through before actually living it? There are so many unknowns, and this is previously unexplored territory for me, so the simple act of thinking something through is purely hypothetical until you actually walk through that door.
My very handy husband has been over-the-top gracious and thoughtful in all the things he has done these past few months in readying our new abode. Even going so far as to pour a concrete slab for a patio to keep down the mud tracked in, building a set of steps for a landing to help me enter and exit the trailer easily, he really has made this transition so much easier and I am beyond grateful for the things he has thought of that would not have occurred to me.
So, my next mission, should I choose to accept it, is to figure out exactly how many whisks and coffee mugs and measuring cups and jackets and books and changes of clothes I really "NEED" to do life.
My guess: Not nearly as many as I currently own.
Monday, December 16, 2019
Practicing Contentment - Not always as easy as you think!
I'm not saying I'm perfect or that I always achieve my goal, but that doesn't change my goal, it just changes my course, or my approach. The goal is still the same. I am the one who needs to make the adjustment.
And that is where I find myself today, as furniture and long-unused items are walking out my front door - some to points unknown. What do I do with a 50-year-old folk guitar that was for many years part of my identity, but I can no longer play due to arthritic hands? All the books I have lovingly collected and curated over the years languish in boxes in storage, since my bookshelves have likewise left the building. I think Friends of the Library is about to find themselves the recipients of a truckload of books...
Things like these, the decisions to be made, the possessions to be relinquished... I thought I was ready (and I am), but the decisions are not any the less difficult, for all my readiness. In one sense, it is freeing to let go of the responsibility to care for and catalog all of these material things, on the other hand, part of me is still tied up in the belonging.
I'm not going to pretend this part of the journey is not without its challenges.
Sunday, December 1, 2019
That's not what it means to me...
Believe me - I hear you. Those are the exact same words I said myself at one point (at many points, to be honest.)
My testimony is a long read, so I can't blame anyone for not slogging through it. In reality, I did not write it for anyone to read, but to lay out my thought process so I could see for myself how my journey has progressed. But, the Reader's Digest version is that:
- I had my interest piqued through a presentation by Jews for Jesus on "Christ in the Passover", in which the realization of the relevancy of the whole Bible became very clear to me.
- I read two books: The first was Revolution in the Church which is a call to live as Jesus lives. The second was Pagan Christianity which explores the roots of common church practices.
- I watched a teaching video by Jim Staley called Truth or Tradition which, while perhaps not 100% verifiable on all historical points, certainly provides food for thought on a lot of traditions and practices that I had given little to no thought to over the course of my Christian life.
*If you're still wondering why does this even matter... consider what God Himself says in His instructions to His followers:
Deuteronomy 12: 29“When the Lord your God cuts off from before you the nations which you go to dispossess, and you displace them and dwell in their land, 30take heed to yourself that you are not ensnared to follow them, after they are destroyed from before you, and that you do not inquire after their gods, saying, ‘How did these nations serve their gods? I also will do likewise.’ 31You shall not worship the Lord your God in that way; for every abomination to the Lord which He hates they have done to their gods; for they burn even their sons and daughters in the fire to their gods.
32 “Whatever I command you, be careful to observe it; you shall not add to it nor take away from it.
Monday, August 19, 2019
You Have Heard it Said…
Christ Fulfills the Law
Matthew 5:17 “Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill. (Show you how it is properly accomplished.) 18 For assuredly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle will by no means pass from the law till all is fulfilled. 19 Whoever therefore breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I say to you, that unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.
The beautiful art of Christine Miller can be appreciated on her website. |
The Test of Knowing Him
1 John 2:3 Now by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments. 4 He who says, “I know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. 5 But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him. 6 He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.
The Spirit of Truth and the Spirit of Error
24 Now he who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him
1 John 5:1 Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves Him who begot also loves him who is begotten of Him. 2 By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.
Knowing the True—Rejecting the False
The beautiful art of Christine Miller can be appreciated on her website. |
Deuteronomy 11:26-28 “Behold, I set before you today a blessing and a curse: the blessing, if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you today; and the curse, if you do not obey the commandments of the Lord your God, but turn aside from the way which I command you today, to go after other gods which you have not known.
Why would I choose a curse?
Thursday, August 15, 2019
Strange Developments
This year, I did not set out to fine tune anything, I have been too busy trying to keep my head above water to concentrate on anything more than putting one foot in front of the other. Summer is a busy time in the property management industry in a college town.
Yes, 14 years of accumulating more stuff than we could possibly need or use, which I now have the pleasure of sorting and sifting through to decide what can actually fit into 300 square feet, and what I can very well live without!
Saturday, August 10, 2019
The Ever-Ascending Cycle
The concept goes something like this: we are to be ever-ascending as we move through the cycles of life (some people call them seasons of life.)
On YHVH's calendar that involves His Sabbaths, festivals, the new moons - those are all integral to our cycles of life as they are "shadows" (prophetic pictures) of what is to come. As we go through these cycles of life, if we fail to gain elevation (learn our lessons), we end up digging ruts for ourselves. (On person aptly likened this concept to a scratch in a record... but not many are familiar with the analogy these days.) As we practice the Lord's calendar, if we fail to learn trust, obedience, discipline, and see the love and the future He has planned or us, we end up following a system of works for the sake of works.
We have all heard the adage: "Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it." The same principle applies.
This concept is one of the main reasons why some of us fail to embrace or fulfill our destinies: by failing to learn our lessons, or learn from our mistakes, we relegate ourselves to repeating the cycle over and over again. Think the movie Groundhog Day, and the whole premise of the plot.
It could very well be one of the reasons that the Israelites took 40 years circling the same path before entering the Promised Land.
Remembering our failures helps us to not forget, and thus have to relearn the hard way, the lessons that YHVH has for us to learn. Understanding our history helps us to understand how we got to where we are now, as well as what our future holds: it helps us to see who we are called to be, what our purpose on Earth is, and how dependent we are upon YHVH to fulfill that purpose.
Friday, August 9, 2019
M*A*?*A*
That's the world we live in right now - sad but true.
Today I ran into Trader Joe's to grab a few things for salad-making tonight and was confronted with a slogan that was new to me: Make America Kind Again. Wouldn't that be nice?
As I was online Googling my salad recipe, curiosity got the better of me, and I also Googled "Make America Kind Again", wondering if it was also a movement or indicative of a particular political bent. (Seriously, I do not keep up with this stuff, so pardon my naïvete.) Yeah - it was probably too good to be true, to propose that people can just be kind without an agenda.
Of course, there is no shortage of people wanting to jump on any particular bandwagon these days, I even came across "Make America Straight Again", "Make America Godly Again", "Make America Juicy Again" (not kidding - apparently they think we don't drink enough beer.)
While I do think it would be lovely if we could achieve kindness, a possibly better (and even more improbable) goal might be:
Make America Humble Again.
Thursday, August 8, 2019
Please Define "Legalism"
Our esteemed Mr. Webster defines "legalism" thusly:
strict, literal, or excessive conformity to the law or to a religious or moral code
Elsewhere, the website Christianity.com has this to say:
Legalism exists when people attempt to secure righteousness in God’s sight by good works. Legalists believe that they can earn or merit God’s approval by performing the requirements of the law,” Thomas R. Schreiner said. A legalist believes that their good works and obedience to God affects their salvation. Legalism focuses on God’s laws more than relationship with God. It keeps external laws without a truly submitted heart. And legalism adds human rules to divine laws and treats them as divine...
And here is where I believe common usage of the term has been changed and is being used to whack people over the head. If someone believes the Bible is true, and seeks to order their lives in accordance to their sincerely held beliefs, it doesn't matter that they do have a truly submitted heart. It doesn't matter that the "rules" they are trying to apply to their own lives are not, in fact, "man made" but found entirely in scripture. The very fact that they are following those laws at all somehow justifies being labeled as a legalist.
Are there followers of the Bible who are trying to earn or merit Gods approval? I'm sure there are. But who am I to be the judge, jury, and hangman in this case? And what, for goodness' sake, are they hurting by doing so? Nothing, as far as I can tell - UNLESS they impose their beliefs on others.
So, forget what labels people slap on me. Forget even what Webster or Christianity.com or your next door neighbor says. What did Jesus say? (WDJS?)
If you love Me, you shall guard My commands. - John 14:15
If you guard My commands, you shall stay in My love even as I have guarded My Father’s commands and stay in His love. -John 15:10
You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. - John 15:14
There are about a gazillion more references to keeping God's commands, but we don't have all day here.
It's not about "earning" anything, folks. It's about saying you love someone and acting like you mean it.
Period.
Wednesday, August 7, 2019
Goals
Truly Brothers, my heart's desire and prayer to Elohim for Israel is for deliverance. For I bear them witness that they have an ardour for Elohim, but not according to knowledge. For not knowing the righteousness of Elohim, and seeking to establish their own righteousness, they did not subject themselves to the righteousness of (did not obey) Elohim. For Messiah is the goal of the Torah unto righteousness to everyone who believes.
So my question here is this: why do people who read this verse assume that it means that Jesus nailed the perfect instructions of God to the cross?
That is not what I'm reading here at all. I never played football in school, but I played plenty of scrimmages on the front lawn with my brother and neighbor kids. I know what a goal is - it is something that you are aiming for. It is the purpose of trying to get that ball, and it's what you run toward. Once you get the ball across the goal line, that does not end the game. So why do people use that analogy and equate that to the Torah being done away with?
That is what I'm chewing on today.
Tuesday, August 6, 2019
You Might Find This Offensive
I like to read, and I'm always on the lookout for a good book. Having a few relatives who are librarians comes in handy here.
With my bookshelves full and overflowing with books (not counting the boxes full of books in my storage unit), coupled with the fact that I am in the throes of downsizing in order to retire and move out of our not-so-spacious apartment and into an even-less-spacious travel trailer, well, let's just say I have taken to relying a lot more on our local library and e-books than ever before.
Now, instead of capping off each trip to Costco with the obligatory stroll through their book section with an eye to a new acquisition, instead I am looking for suggestions for my next book request from the library. (Sorry to all my family and friends who earn their living by working for Costco.)
I recently had the opportunity to talk about books with my librarian sister, who just happens to be serving her last term as reader on a statewide committee which determines "Book of the Year" in her state. In her capacity as a reader, she has the enviable task (or possibly unenviable, depending on your bent) of reading over 50 submissions for nominees any particular year. In so doing, she will obviously be reading from numerous genres, including poetry, children's books, historical... all categories that she might not normally read.
So, when she shares the title of a particular book that has left a favorable impression, I take note. I also took note of the comment which accompanied her recommendation: "You might find it offensive." Honestly, I had to chuckle inwardly. I can't even recall exactly what she thought might offend me. I was too busy ruminating on the fact that anyone besides myself - even someone who has know me for 60+ years, would think they knew what might offend me.
In the first place, I didn't realize I was easily offended.
In the second place, I was a little surprised that someone would think me so narrow-minded.
Do I have opinions and thoughts on a myriad of topics? If you've wasted any time trolling through my comments throughout the years, you'll know the answer to that. Do I think I am always right? Mmm... not so much. That is why I do choose to read books, listen to podcasts, or even watch movies that might possibly contain controversial content. I have my opinions and thoughts... I am willing to entertain that I might not have the last word on a given topic... But my bottom line is that I weigh what I read or hear against one standard. What does the Bible say?
If that makes me narrow-minded, I guess I will just have to live with that.
Monday, August 5, 2019
Challenging Comfort Zones
I will form these thoughts as questions, because that is how they presented in my mind.
1) Did Jesus really come to start a new religion?
2) Did Paul start a new religion or teach something different from what Jesus had taught?
3) If neither of the two questions above could be answered as "No", then why did the religion I followed look and sound and feel so different from the "religion" I read about in the Bible?
Please note: I despise the term "religion" as used to describe a faith-based, personal experience with Who I believe to be a living Creator Who has made Himself known to His creation. The Webster's definition: "an organized system of beliefs, ceremonies, and rules used to worship a god or a group of gods" does not accurately define the relationship that I am describing as my own experience.
Another question:
4) If either question 1 or question 2 could be answered "Yes", then how did that fit with a belief system that claimed a God Who is "the same yesterday, today, and forever"?
God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? -Numbers 23.19
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. - James 1.17
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. - Hebrews 13.8
I have recently started reading a book written by a (surprise, surprise) Southern Baptist preacher, The Unsaved Christian: Reaching Cultural Christianity with the Gospel which (thus far) has been describing much of my frustration and dilemma with having been raised in the church. I have been surrounded by, and have myself been what I would consider to be a "cultural Christian" for most of my life.
Hear me: I am in no way wanting to disparage the countless MANY wonderful, kind, good people who have influenced my life over the years. I am just waking up to the reality that there is so much more to having a relationship with a living God. Much as there is so much more to a marriage that a wedding ceremony.
Let that sink in if you will. Imagine a marriage that got no further than the wedding ceremony. Both parties kiss, exchange rings, walk back down the aisle and out the church door, going their separate ways - and then go on living their lives having little interaction except perhaps a weekly conjugal visit... if they weren't too busy going skiing, playing golf, watching the bowl game. Sure, you dress up nice for the occasional date and tell everyone you are husband a wife, but where is the relationship?
Have I just described the average "Christian" relationship with the Father of heavenly lights? The same one who so desired a restored relationship with his prodigal child that He sent his only son to die for us?
I'm sorry if that description offends you or puts you on the defensive. But I know exactly how you feel, because those are the same challenges I have been wading through for the past 13 years as I have tried to come up for air as I found myself drowning in a sea of religion.
Sunday, March 10, 2019
43534 :: Post-Apocalyptic Musings
Labeled "the deadliest and most destructive fire in California history," the Camp Fire which started November 8, 2018 and roared for 18 days, continues to have a huge impact on our community today, in ways we did not anticipate.
We knew to buy up air purifiers and N95 face masks. Hundreds volunteered countless hours at Red Cross, humane, and other shelters to serve those who had lost everything. Many donated bedrooms and travel trailers for use by strangers who had been displaced. There was no lack of compassion or outpouring of selfless giving on the part of our community during this time of dire need.
Vacant rentals within a 50+ mile radius filled up within a week - a few landlords generously even waived deposits or pet restrictions. People were on the phone to realtors, buying houses sight-unseen even as they drove down the hill through walls of flames. Thousands got in their cars and just kept on driving, relocating to other cities and states... or sometimes, countries. Thousands of others camped out in tents, trailers and cars in any open space they could find for weeks, until rains threatened flooding and more shelters were opened.
Church shelters filled up within days, until the outbreak of norovirus and the influx of opportunistic transients infiltrated, causing the most vulnerable - the children and elderly - to feel further traumatized.
It was ironic, if not almost comical, to answer the inevitable, innocent question asked by anyone not familiar with our community: "Were you affected by the Camp Fire?" Even those of us who did not lose a home could not fail to have been affected. At the very least, we each have multiple friends and/or family whose lives were upended as they literally fled for their lives, leaving melting cars in the traffic jam as they ran through blazing walls of fire on both sides.
On a lesser note, one cannot fail to see the impact with crowded grocery stores, restaurants, streets, medical facilities. We have an entire town just 20 minutes up the hill from us who lost hospitals, clinics, restaurants, hotels, convenience stores, gas stations... how can that not fail to impact the rest of us, even if we lost nothing more than the ability to breath clean air for a few weeks?
But to me, the most devastating effect that has impacted us all, is the ability to afford to continue to live in this community that we have called home for decades. As we were nearing retirement, we had already been looking out for affordable housing in the senior mobile home parks that abound. Now, it would seem, opportunistic sellers have disregarded any thought to anything besides feathering their own nests at the expense of not only those who have lost everything, but the rest of us who can no longer afford to remain where we have lived, in our case, for 14 years.
Our District Attorney warned businesses that it is illegal (not to mention immoral) to raise the price on rent or food or cars or gas or building materials more than 10% in the face of a disaster. But selling a house is a different matter. As pointed out recently on social media, a 49-year old, single-wide mobile home in a senior park that had been listed at $18,000 pre-Camp Fire was raised to $55,000 (with no apparent improvements to warrant the price increase) and sold within a week. Likewise, slapping a coat of paint on a 48-year old double-wide in the same senior park is apparently justification for listing at $154,000 what was listed in 2018 for $20,000.
Sadly, that is just the tip of the iceberg. Many more long-term renters have now been served notice that landlords are selling houses (one must assume to the highest bidder), taking advantage of this window of opportunity where people desperate for a place to live coupled with insurance payouts are forking out double - and sometimes triple - the amount of what a place is worth, further displacing yet more families in their wake.
I'm not sure where it will all end, but I'm not so naïve as to think it will end any time soon. Nor will it end on a happy note. The bubble will burst, there will be a lot of people who have shelled out FAR-above reasonable market value for houses, businesses will not be able to move to (or even continue to operate in) our area because there is no available housing for employees, and the bubble is going to burst with a big splat.
I hope I am wrong - but I don't think I am. And I doubt we will be here to see it anyway, since no one can live on Social security and a meager savings where housing prices have tripled.