Please Define "Legalism"

It turns out that somewhere along the way, I have apparently done something to deserve having the label LEGALIST slapped on me. Do I deserve this? You be the judge.

Our esteemed Mr. Webster defines "legalism" thusly:

strict, literal, or excessive conformity to the law or to a religious or moral code

Elsewhere, the website Christianity.com has this to say:

Legalism exists when people attempt to secure righteousness in God’s sight by good works. Legalists believe that they can earn or merit God’s approval by performing the requirements of the law,” Thomas R. Schreiner said. A legalist believes that their good works and obedience to God affects their salvation. Legalism focuses on God’s laws more than relationship with God. It keeps external laws without a truly submitted heart. And legalism adds human rules to divine laws and treats them as divine...

And not to be outdone, at Desiring God we find:

In religion—especially Christianity—legalism is a pejorative term for relying on strict rule-keeping or good works to earn salvation or spiritual standing before God, rather than relying on grace and faith.

And here is where I believe common usage of the term has been changed and is being used to whack people over the head. If someone believes the Bible is true, and seeks to order their lives in accordance to their sincerely held beliefs, it doesn't matter that they do have a truly submitted heart. It doesn't matter that the "rules" they are trying to apply to their own lives are not, in fact, "man made" but found entirely in scripture. The very fact that they are following those laws at all somehow justifies being labeled as a legalist.

And, if I may point out the irony, how is it that someone who is faithful to their spouse or does not cheat on their taxes is not labeled a Legalist? 

Are there followers of the Bible or Torah who are trying to earn or merit God's approval? Just take a quick look around any mainstream Evangelical church and you will find people who have their own checklist of what it looks like to be a "good Christian:"  Tithe, read your Bible and pray every day, attend church every week, etc. etc. I'm sure there are people on both sides of the Grace/Law "fence" who are checking off boxes, making sure they stay on God's good side. But who am I to be the judge, jury, and hangman in this case? And what, for goodness' sake, are they hurting by doing so? Nothing, as far as I can tell - UNLESS they insist on imposing their beliefs on others. Frankly, I think that anyone trying their best to live their lives in a way that benefits themselves, their families, and society in general is to be preferred any day ahead of someone who is a liar, cheat, or thief.

So, forget what labels people slap on me. Forget even what Webster, Christianity.com, John Piper or your next door neighbor says. What did Jesus say? (WDJS?)

• If you love Me, you shall guard My commands. - John 14:15
• If you guard My commands, you shall stay in My love even as I have guarded My Father’s commands and stay in His love. -John 15:10
• You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. - John 15:14
• (P.S. there is a whole list here. Or just read Psalm 119.)

I'm not trying to "earn" anything, folks. I'm just saying, if someone says they love God, where is the harm in trusting Him to know what is best for you - and acting like you mean it?