Identity Crisis or Desperate Disobedience?

I have several bones to pick with society in general and some people in particular. Today's bone du jour is the tendency - read: compulsion - in our society to LABEL PEOPLE. If one is a sensitive, caring male who isn't into sports but enjoys music or literature instead, then woe be it to him to be friends with another man without getting a label of GAY slapped on him. Likewise, if a girl is perhaps athletic or has an assertive personality, etc., the same thing frequently happens there. (Those are some frequent stereotypes. I am not implying anything beyond that.)

Here is what I truly think: We all have feelings of same-sex attraction... at one time or another in our lives, we all have those feelings. I think it is a normal process of the developing sexual identity. Notice I said "developing" - it is a process of growth. Sometimes during this process, "the needle gets stuck in the record" in that person comes to believe - or is LED TO BELIEVE - that because he/she is attracted to the same sex, ipso facto they are gay. I do not, however, agree with that conclusion.

Children and young adults are naturally going to be curious not only about their changing bodies (as well as with the brouhaha they hear all around them), and just as some may experiment with smoking, shoplifting, drinking, drugs, they may experiment with sex - in whatever form it is available.

Many times, we are attracted to another person of the same sex on a psychological level, as in the ability to share thoughts, feelings, beliefs and to have deep meaningful discussions.  Those feelings can easily lead to emotional bonding which for some could lead to carrying that bonding to a physical level for a period of time until one or the other becomes dissatisfied or uncomfortable with the relationship. I liken that type of relationship to "scratching an itch."

None of those things should define a person's character or "orientation" any more than a 7-year-old sneaking a pack of gum from the 5-and-dime should be defined as a career criminal... But here is where we have the problem: In society's zeal to eradicate God and morality and absolutes, we have those who instead have elevated the ideals of humanism, relativism and political correctness. It is taught in the schools. And I think the Lord already said something about that when He said through the prophet Isaiah:

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who change darkness into light and light into darkness, who change bitter into sweet and sweet into bitter!

The thing is, there are many who don't want to believe it's God's call to define what is right and wrong (or "good" and "evil").

Partly, I blame the modern church, because they have perpetuated the myth that the front part of The Book was "nailed to the cross", and they have cherry-picked what is acceptable to believe and what was "done away with" or "for the Jews", when God himself said these were instructions for us (HIS PEOPLE) through all generations.

Partly, I think our government and society in general is to blame, because they have elevated "freedom of choice" and made it about the individual and not the common good… much less about obedience to our Creator.

Bottom line, I think the real issue is NOT about sex at all, or orientation if you prefer that term, but about rebellion and defiance of who our Creator created us to be and how He created us to live. This is where my disagreement lies. Not in the choices that people make - because the Lord knows I have made my fair share of misguided choices - but ultimately with the fact that they don't agree with or believe WHO GOD CREATED THEM TO BE.

God’s power has given us everything we need for life and godliness, through our knowing the One who called us to his own glory and goodness...

...but the enemy has ramped things up as the end grows closer in order to blind people to that fact. The result is: We have more and more people calling good evil and evil good… and a society who damns us if we speak against it.

But the reality is that there is a blatant double-standard by which people live. When their choice differs from ours, we are obliged to turn a blind eye and accept it as “normal”, but if we disagree and say, “no, it’s not up to US but up to GOD to define how He created us to live (or not live), then we are labeled hateful, fanatics, or phobic. I think it stems from the fact that they know, deep down inside, that their spirit is not in sync with their Creator, and they are trying desperately to still that voice. Sadly for them, the voice will not be stilled and it fuels their desire to quench it rather than to turn (i.e. “repent”) and believe God and believe that what He said is true.

At least, that's that way I see it.

Fitting In

It is no longer my weekly custom to attend corporate church gatherings on Sundays. For the first 60 or so years of my life, that had been my "norm." It had been a habit that was taught to me by my parents and later cultivated by my own choice. It had been my culture. And then I stopped.

For the past four years, ever since my mother-in-law died and I no longer had someone dependent upon me to fetch them to church, I have cultivated other "habits" to occupy my Sunday mornings. Coffee with the grands, grocery shopping, cleaning house. I have been trying to reprogram my thinking about how I spend my Sundays, but find that it is hard to undo 67 years of conditioning just like that. It has been difficult to not feel obliged to make excuses to those who expect to see me where and when they have always seen me. It has been difficult for my husband of 47 years, who still feels called to make Sunday church his habit, to be put in a position where he feels he must field questions and answer for me.

The reality is, I don't fit in. In retrospect, I am not sure when I crossed over from the norm and stopped fitting in, but I became acutely aware that I should not be there the morning I heard myself saying out loud, right in the middle of a sermon, "No-o-o." The words that were being spoken were out of step with the words I was reading in my Bible, and I realized at that moment that I could not continue to pretend or try to fit in to a culture that I could not in all honesty agree with.

I love the people who attend that church. I love the people who have left that church and now attend elsewhere. I appreciate the relationships that have developed over the last 40 years in this place, but I just cannot agree with them in several areas that have come to matter a great deal to me, and I cannot pretend to fit in with a tradition that has absolutely no basis in scripture but rather appears to be nothing less than a manipulation of the "faithful" by a hierarchical system which has dictated for 2 millennia that The System has more authority over The Faithful than the very Word of God.

I have come to realize that I am not the only person who feels this way, and I am certainly not the first in history to have come to this conclusion. Down through those 2 millennia, thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people who dared to think outside the ecclesiastical box must have wondered how it was that a select few would have the temerity to dictate to the masses how and when and where the Almighty Creator of the Universe was to be worshiped, particularly when that how and when and where had no foundation in the scriptures we are told was from the mouth of that same Creator, and what on earth gave those same few the right to proclaim who was admitted into that same Creator's kingdom?

Dissecting those traditions has been a long and frequently emotionally painful process, but as I have said before elsewhere, once I learn the truth of a matter, it is impossible for me to un-learn it. So, as difficult as it may be initially, I am choosing to believe that God's blueprint for our lives which is found in the Bible does in fact matter, His words are not too difficult for me to understand or apply to my life, and they are a blessing - not a curse. God's words that have been handed down through the ages are still as relevant to me in 2018 as they were to the apostles and the first followers of that Jewish rabbi from Galilee who upset the money changers' tables, who healed a blind man on a Sabbath day in defiance of rabbinical tradition, who told tax collectors and fishermen to follow Him... I am certainly capable of choosing that same path of obedience, despite the expectations of my own religious leaders (or my friends.)

For a person to call her/himself a "pastor", yet have no idea who my children are, much less their names, what I do for a living, or what I am passionate about in life, that person is a "pastor" in no sense of the word. For a leader of a congregation to have attended seminary and not teach even the basics of what the Word of God has to say, how it can shape and guide and change our lives to impact our communities and our world - or worse, to know those basics, but then knowingly perpetuate deception about such basic tenets as what day of the week we are to set apart, about how we are to live our lives in accordance with the Word we purport to follow - that is where I have to disconnect and walk away. 

Because, as difficult as it is to change a lifetime of habits and culture, to continue in a culture than I am convinced has stepped away from representing my Creator for the sake of increasing attendance and membership is a step toward compromise with that same world that we are instructed to "come out of." At some point, I have to step off the merry-go-round of tradition and go back to the basics of "What does the Lord want from me?"

Hint: The answer is not compromise, it is not "fitting in." It is repentance and obedience.

What on earth is "Elul"?

Other than being the 6th month on the Hebrew Biblical calendar, I previously had no knowledge at all about "The 40 Days of Favor." That was in the days before I discovered the helpful explanations on a website, Hebrew for Christians.

According to information I found on Reform Judaism:
"Elul is the Hebrew month that precedes the High Holidays (Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur), a time of study and personal reflection on our actions of the past year. It also is a time when we seek forgiveness from those we have wronged or with whom we otherwise have “missed the mark” in our interactions and behaviors."

Another website, Judaism 101, shares this thought:
"According to tradition, the month of Elul is the time that Moses spent on Mount Sinai preparing the second set of tablets after the incident of the golden calf (Ex. 32; 34:27-28). He ascended on Rosh Chodesh Elul [the First of Elul] and descended on the 10th of Tishri, at the end of Yom Kippur, when repentance was complete."

Not being ethnically or culturally Jewish or Hebrew myself (other than a random smattering of "Ashkenazi" showing up in my DNA profile), but rather a person who believes in the truth of the entire Bible and seeks to apply those truths to everyday life, I had to ask myself: What, if any, of the Jewish practices or traditions can help me gain a better understanding of what that truth could look like in my life? I want to add that I do tread lightly here, knowing that Jesus/Yeshua had a "few" words to say to the religious leaders of his day about their traditions replacing the commands of YHVH. So, there is that. I'm more about understanding the prophetic symbolism of those traditions. Bottom line: Can understanding the practices and traditions bring me closer to an understanding of who I was created to be and how it would please YHVH for me to live my life? That is my only goal.

From what I have learned from the various Jewish and Christian/Messianic websites I have found, I understand Elul as being a time to spend in personal reflection - much how some in the liturgical Christian traditions observe Advent or Lent. It is a time that many people add a special devotional study to their routine and reflect on the spiritual significance of this time of the year, and maybe discover that they could use a little "course adjustment." A time of reflection and repentance can hardly be a bad thing.

To that end, I have found an insightful study by a teacher whose writings have been thought-provoking for me, and will be incorporating those devotionals into my study time each day, starting the first day of Elul (Sunday, August 12, 2018) and continuing up until Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement), 40 days.

I hope to share some of my thoughts and gleanings as I go through that study with the intention of encouraging someone else take another step on their journey of faith.

The Fun Never Ends

When we start talking about the Feasts of the Lord/YHWH, the "holidays" have traditionally been divided between Spring and Fall. The Christian or messianic church recognizes that the prophetic nature (shadow) of the Spring Feasts were fulfilled in the first advent of Yeshua and the Fall Feasts will be fulfilled at His second coming. The Fall Feasts are no less remarkable in their significance:

• Yom Teru'ah (often called Rosh Hashanah because of its place at the beginning of the Jewish civic calendar) is also referred to as the Day of Remembrance because we are commanded to remember to blow the trumpet. We are to remember who we are, who we were created to be, to remember that YHWH is our King.
• Yom ha-Kippurim (also called Day of Atonement) is significant in that it symbolizes a day of deliverance and salvation. Over the years, some Jewish traditions have imbued the celebrations with more than is prescribed in scripture, likewise some messianic sources have gone so far as to assert that this will be the day that Yeshua returns. I am of the opinion that it is about repentance and restoration. You can read it for yourself.
• Sukkot (or Feast of Tabernacles / Feast of Booths) wraps everything up with a week of rejoicing for God's blessing and provision for us. It represents a time of restored fellowship with God (following our repentance.) I think of it as the prototype for Thanksgiving. Or, as one wit said:

Bottom line, it's no more up to us to decide whether or not God cares about a certain tradition or not than it is for me to tell you what you should have for breakfast.  Simply because we have slapped some symbolism on them and “Christianized” the original pagan meanings to somehow make "our" religion more enticing to those outside of it doesn't change God's word. I think that what we do in our ignorance or innocence has very real spiritual significance, even when we try to shrug it off and claim that we “don’t mean it that way.” 

Ultimately, it is not about what we want or think, but it is about what The Lord God Almighty, Creator of the Universe, says and thinks that is the final authority. 

And what He says is this:
“When יהוה your Elohim does cut off from before you the nations which you go to dispossess, and you dispossess them and dwell in their land, guard yourself that you are not ensnared to follow them, after they are destroyed from before you, and that you do not inquire about their mighty ones, saying, ‘How did these nations serve their mighty ones? And let me do so too.’  
“Do not do so to יהוה your Elohim, for every abomination which יהוה hates they have done to their mighty ones, for they even burn their sons and daughters in the fire to their mighty ones.
All the words I am commanding you, guard to do it – do not add to it nor take away from it. Deuteronomy 12:29-32 The Scriptures 2009

I don't know how it could get any clearer than that.

Challenges and Expectations

I have been a Christ-follower for nearly 60 years. Having grown up in a well-known, "fundamental" mainstream denomination, I spent much of my childhood into my adolescent years checking off all the boxes every week that somehow charted my progress toward spiritual maturity. (Or some such thing.) To this day, I am still not quite sure what was accomplished by all that, other than to foster a misconception that by somehow checking off a to-do list you can become a better Christian - but I did it anyway for all those years.

• Attendance? Check!
• Bible Brought? Check!
• Lesson Studied? Check!
• Giving? Check!
• Worship Attendance? Check!
• Daily Bible Reading and Prayer? Check!

Sadly (and this is sobering to admit, given my personal conviction for the importance of reading scripture), one thing I never have done in all that time even until today was to read all the way through the Book that I claim to believe is Truth, that I claim to follow. Oh to be sure, I have read a lot (most) of the parts of the Book. Like any other book that is a compilation of various authors, we all have our favorite bits that we become familiar with and read over and over again.

But I am talking about starting at Page 1 and going straight through to the end. I have never done that, and knowing me, am not likely to ever achieve that specific goal, if for no other reason than we are talking about a lot of different stories and lessons spread out over the course of an estimated 1,200 pages and over 4,500 years. I'm not saying I have ADHD, but I am saying this is not a novel. (War and Peace is a novel - I have not read those 1,225 pages, either. So, there is that.)

I have, however, accepted the challenge to read the entire Bible this year, and to that end, have made myself a chart to track the different books and/or chapters that I have finished... because I know me and I know how my brain works, and I know that unless it is a mystery novel or something, I am likely to skip around from history to prophecy to poetry and back again and probably end up overlooking a couple of chapters unless I have another - you guessed it - checklist!

Over the past several years, I have made several attempts to come up with a system to help me along. I purchased a Chronological Bible. I thought maybe that would help by putting everything in order according to a timeline that would help keep me on track. Nope - it was too distracting for me to have a Psalm or ten thrown into the middle of the story of David in the books of Kings and Samuel. So I am back to reading one book at a time from start to finish, and checking the chapters off as I go. So far, so good and I am making a lot of progress. (Partly because my brain seems to love a checklist.) Even so, I still find that it works better for me to read one book in the morning, and some Psalms or Proverbs in the evening, just to mix it up.

Try it, see what works for you. The bonus is, you will also get the blessing of reading the WHOLE word of God. And that in itself is going to do immeasurably more than checking off a to-do list.

The opening up of Your words gives light, Giving understanding to the simple.
Psalm 119:130
For the Word of Elohim is living, and working, and sharper than any two-edged sword, cutting through even to the dividing of being and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

All scriptures quoted are from The Scriptures 2009, Institute for Scripture Research. You can read it at www.bible.com.

Let's talk about holidays

In my previous post, I had begun to randomise about why I no longer can in good conscience continue to follow man-made traditions when they are in direct conflict with God-given ones.

So, let’s consider what “holidays” we as Americans traditionally love to celebrate. For the most part we have: New Year, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, 4th of July, Hallowe’en, Thanksgiving, and Christmas… I may have left out a few, but I think those are generally celebrated across the board, even in different ethnic groups, and even sometimes by those who are from other distinct religious backgrounds, such as Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, or pagan. Taking out 4th of July which is a decidedly US-centric celebration, that still leaves us with 7 celebrations, even though I am no math major.

What would you think if I told you that God has already given us 7 holidays, some call them "Feast Days", to celebrate… ‘These are the appointed times of [God], set-apart gatherings which you are to proclaim at their appointed times.“¹  And this is what I want to think about today, the first two of those Feasts: Passover and The Feast of the Unleavened Bread. Oddly enough, most of us grew up calling these "Jewish holidays". God/YHWH called them HIS appointed times. 

To paraphrase a statement from the Hebrew for Christians website: ‘God’s eternal plan for us, all the way from pre-creation until eternity, is revealed to us through the nature and timing of the seven annual Feasts of the Lord.’ Once we begin to understand the significance and symbolism of God’s Feasts, how can we settle for the watered-down traditions of man?

When we understand that Passover is a picture of how Yeshua has “marked” the doorposts of our lives with His blood, how Passover is a graphic illustration of our salvation by God’s appointed perfect lamb, how can we settle for the traditions of ham for Easter, dying eggs, or chocolate Easter bunnies, when all of those traditions originated from the worship of Ba'al and Asherah (or “Ishtar” or “Easter”) and the substituting of the true message of salvation for deceptive practices of fertility rites and the attempt to somehow conjure up the favor of man-made gods? Just do a little bit of research and you will turn up information you will probably wish you never knew, and will spoil forever looking at those innocent decorated eggs as just a harmless, fun tradition. (At least, that is what it did for me, and I am ultimately the only person I have to answer for.)

Likewise, the Feast of Unleavened Bread is another amazing picture of our deliverance from a life of slavery, and is a symbol of ridding our lives of impurity. We were redeemed “out of Egypt” in that we were rescued from a life that is influenced by the immorality of the traditions of man that lead us away from realizing all that we were created to be. Cleaning out the “old leaven” is a perfect picture of Christ’s redemption - clearing out the rotting influences of our past lives.

Yeshua became our Passover lamb. Because of this, we are new creations and by the power of His Holy Spirit, we don’t have to be slaves to our old way of living and those influences which are unhealthy or destructive. Nothing I could have ever done under my own power would have been able to accomplish that.

I'm going to save the the other two Spring Feasts, the Feasts of First Fruits and Pentecost/Shavuot for another go-round. Since this was not part of my own tradition growing up and I am still learning my way with these, I am taking my time to learn as I go more about what is merely tradition and what is meaningful and worth adopting. In the meantime, if anything I have mentioned has intrigued you, do some investigating for yourself, starting with what scripture has to say. 

As mentioned previously, Hebrew for Christians is one place to start, although I do not agree 100% with every point of view on that site. Another good reference source is 119 Ministries, and The Refiner's Fire apologetics ministry also presents a concise overview of all 7 feasts.

¹  Leviticus 23.4

If :: Then

I am doing some thinking this week as I read through Debarim. What? You've never heard of it? I assure you, it has been on the Best-Seller list for years! In fact, it’s been through so many publishings, I think we have lost count. Not to mention being translated into practically every language known to man...

You probably know it by its English title: Deuteronomy. Surely you have heard of Moses? It is just one of his best-sellers. 

So this week's reading takes us through Deuteronomy 7:12 - 11:25, and I am pondering some of the things Moses writes - which could just as well apply to us today as to his original audience back in the day:

I. 8:2-6 “And you shall remember that YHWH your Elohim led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you, prove you, to know what is in your heart, whether you guard His commands or not. And He humbled you, and let you suffer hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, to make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but by every Word that comes from the mouth of YHWH. “Your garments did not wear out on you, nor did your foot swell these forty years. Thus you shall know in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so YHWH your Elohim disciplines you,” therefore you shall guard the commands of YHWH your Elohim, to walk in His ways and to fear Him.

God allows us to go through “wilderness experiences” for several reasons. Not the least is to help us remember where we would be without Him guiding us! He also uses those experiences to “test” us and help us figure out if we are really listening to His instructions or if we are going off and trying to do things our way.

II. 10:12-16 “And now, Yisra’ĕl, what is YHWH your Elohim asking of you, but to fear YHWH your Elohim, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, and to serve YHWH your Elohim with all your heart and with all your being, to guard the commands of YHWH and His laws which I command you today for your good?  “See, the heavens and the heaven of heavens belong to YHWH your Elohim, also the earth with all that is in it.  YHWH  delighted only in your fathers, to love them. And He chose their seed after them, you above all peoples, as it is today.  And you shall circumcise the foreskin of your heart, and harden your neck no more.

God spells out exactly how He wants us to live. It’s kind of a no-brainer when you look at it. Well, maybe not the circumcision of the heart bit - that takes a little pondering to make the connection about having a covenant with the Spirit and not be living our lives by what "feels good" to us.

III. 11:22-25 For if you diligently guard all these commands which I command you, to do it, to love YHWH your Elohim, to walk in all His ways, and to cling to Him, then YHWH shall drive out all these nations before you, and you shall dispossess greater and stronger nations than you.  Every place on which the sole of your foot treads is yours: from the wilderness, and Leḇanon, from the river, the River Euphrates, even to the Western Sea is your border.  No man shall stand against you. YHWH your Elohim shall put the dread of you and the fear of you upon all the land where you tread, as He has spoken to you.

What I’m reading here translates to me as this: IF we pay attention to what God is instructing us, THEN He will entrust us with a mission or a calling and will allow us to partner with Him to purge the polluting, toxic influences “every place on which the soles of our feet tread”.

That’s the kind of footprint we should be concerned about leaving on our environment!

Thanks, Bill Bullock, for putting so much time into your devotionals.

All scriptures quoted are from The Scriptures 2009, Institute for Scripture Research. You can read it at www.bible.com.