Who Cares What You Call It!

If you were blessed with wise and loving parents, as I was, they were good role models to you. In an ideal world, they were also a picture of what God is to us in life... someone who understands what is best for us, taking the time to instruct us, asking us to obey Him because we love Him... even if we don't always understand the "why." In our Western society, that is not always seen as a desirable thing, because independence and individuality are worshiped as the model to strive after.  OK, maybe worshiped is a strong word, but can you think of a better word to explain why we disregard what our Creator has told us is best for us and instead do what we think we want to do, or what "feels good" for the moment, without any thought to the long-term consequences? 

Remember when you were a teen, still living at home, and your friends were going out to have fun together on a weekend? But, your parents told you "No, I don't want you to do that." First is the initial embarrassment at having to tell your friends that your parents didn't want you to participate, accompanied of course by the frustration with your parents because they Just.Don't.Understand. It was almost as if your parents didn't want you to have fun, right? Or to have friends. Or a life.

But, now that you are an adult, (hopefully) you see the bigger picture: They already experienced their own mistakes, and maybe they didn't know how to talk about it, but they loved you and they wanted you to be safe.

Darn! Poor us! We grew up having no stories to tell about getting pulled over for being underage with open containers. We have no mug shots preventing us from applying for that great job that requires high-security clearance. And, worst of all, we are not languishing in an early grave, cut off from the fullness of life because of impaired judgment behind the wheel.

As we mature, we begin to understand that we have limited understanding about a lot of things: what may feel good or “right” for a moment may not always be in our best interest in the long run. And, incredible as it may seem, many issues in life are not even about US. Another benefit to getting older is that it usually begins to dawn on us that the world does not revolve around us or our desires or time tables. Wouldn’t it be interesting to find out that neither are we in charge of calling the shots on other things in life, such as how we choose to worship our Creator?

Anyone who knows me knows that I do not apologize for being a follower of Jesus/Yeshua. What many do NOT realize is that my walk looks a little different than mainstream. If you have read other of my posts, you realize that I no longer celebrate "Christmas" as the birthday of Yeshua. Neither do I celebrate "Easter" in place of His death and resurrection, which historically took place during Passover and the Feast of Unleavened Bread. And some find that odd, or even sacrilegious. I'm sorry for their misconception, but I just cannot follow those traditions any more. Now that I have a better understanding of what they mean and where they originated, I don't think it's about me and what feels fun or comfortable. It's about being obedient.

Normally, I do not get so vocal about this... mainly because it is not a choice that is always convenient to live out. I have been accused of being legalistic. I have been criticized for supposedly thinking I am somehow more “spiritual” than others. I have been told that I’m just a spoil-sport and it doesn’t really matter when we celebrate those holidays or what we call them, because "God knows our hearts" and He doesn’t care about the day… it’s just a fun tradition…. what’s the harm?

But today, I just want to get a few things laid down, to get them off my chest and spell out clearly where I’m coming from, and hopefully foster some critical thinking. To those who claim I am being legalistic, I say: Is it “legal” or is it “legalistic” to obey a speed limit that is posted for my own good? I say there is nothing wrong with being “legal.” To obey a speed limit (or any other law) for the purpose of earning the right to be called an American citizen would be legalistic... and ludicrous. I am already an American citizen. Obedience to a speed limit created for my safety and well-being is only being smart. Obeying the law doesn’t make you a citizen, it just makes you an obedient citizen.

To those who feel compelled to criticize me and accuse me of thinking I am somehow “judging” them, I say: My obedience has nothing to do with you. You have to be obedient to where God has you on your own journey of listening and obeying. If I have provoked you to consider things from a different perspective, then maybe it's time for you to examine for yourself what God really has to say about it in His own words, and not some doctrinal statement laid down by talking heads who don't want you to  read and think for yourself.

And, if you have been led to believe that God does not have something to say about what days we set apart or how we celebrate them, I simply have to wonder what Bible you are reading and if you really believe that it is indeed God’s revelation of Himself to us. I also wonder how people can justify pulling out just those verses that they will choose to obey, and leave the rest behind. Just as I made the choice to listen to and obey my parents during my adolescence because I had a sneaking suspicion that they actually did care about me and desire what was in my best interest, so do I choose to obey my Creator and trust that He knows what will bring me greatest fulfillment and a closer, more meaningful relationship with Him.

So, this is the part where I tell you why I no longer can in good conscience continue to follow man-made traditions when they are in direct conflict with God-given ones. I know you did not tune into my randomising to hear a sermon or to have Bible verses thrown in your face, but I am willing to guess that if you have made it this far, you are wondering why or how I went off the deep end. So, I will tell you:

If I have decided to be a follower of Yeshua, don’t you think I would do well to look at the whole scripture to get a complete picture of what following Him should look like? Too many people today have been led to believe that it’s O.K. to throw out the greater part of God’s revelation to us. They only accept the “New” covenant, when in fact, the writers of the New Testament are actually referring to what we call the "Old Testament" when they are referring to “All Scripture is breathed out by [God] and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for setting straight, for instruction in righteousness...”¹ Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water by disregarding the whole of scripture for determining your doctrine, or what you believe about God.

Start reading it for yourself. 

(Part Two: Let's Talk About Holidays)

¹ 2 Timothy 3.16 (The Scriptures 2009, Institute for Scripture Research)

Why I am Pro-Choice… and it’s not what you think

Once you hit a certain age - my guesstimate is about 6 months - life begins to present you with all kinds of choices:

Green beans or pears?

Nap or tantrum?

Blanky or Binky®?

We quickly move on to harder and more important choices:

Good Night Moon or Harold and the Purple Crayon?

Sand box or swing set?

Crayons or Play-Doh®?

These are only precursors for the really big decisions that life throws our way, and I am not talking about peanut butter and jelly vs. tuna or black licorice vs. Red Vines®. (P.S. The correct answers are: tuna and neither.)

What we (hopefully) are learning when we are young is that with all of our choices, any decision we make, to one degree or another, will have a consequence. Another thing we learn is that we have a voice, and while our opinion does (or at the very least should) matter, the choices we make do, in fact, affect others.

Any time you involve another person in the equation, your opinion becomes subject to how you think that other person (or persons) will react or respond. Take a nap = happy parent. Throw a tantrum = unhappy parent. It doesn’t take long for our awareness of others’ reactions to begin to affect our choices.

I'm not implying that is necessarily a bad thing. Au contraire: It is precisely the premise that our decision-making does impact others, and that we should become aware of it which is the point of my randomizing.

One would hope that, as a child matures into adulthood, the broad range of choices and decisions a child has been previously faced with beginning in infancy through toddler-hood and beyond, will have had the cumulative effect of shaping his/her subsequent choices with an understanding of short-term and long-term consequences. Of course, it is unreasonable to suggest that an adolescent will have the same scope of experience as a 60-year-old, or even a 40-year-old, but even a 13-year-old can grasp the cause and effect of eating too much fair food = crapulence. (Yes, a real word.)

Only someone with their head buried in the sand (or more likely, an iPhone) throughout their formative years will fail to observe that some choices already exercised by others - such as getting behind the wheel of a vehicle while impaired or distracted - have resulted in life-altering or deadly consequences. Counter-intuitively, it would seem, learning from the mistakes of others is not an inherent skill. It would seem that some of us are equipped with some genetic mutation that dupes us into believing that we are smarter than the other guy, and “it won’t happen to me.” Sadly, we are more often wrong than right.

To that end, I am a huge advocate of the idea that people have the right to their opinions as well as choices. We need to know that our opinions matter. When we grow up believing that they don’t matter, there seems to be a tendency to react by making deliberately poor choices in a desperate attempt to prove that we do have a choice and everyone should take notice! That can prove to be the perfect recipe for breeding narcissism and we end up with people making immature decisions in an attempt to try to manipulate and control others. I am no child psychologist and I have not seen any studies to support my theory, so don’t go quoting my opinion in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry.

Bottom line: our choices and opinions do affect others, sometimes in ways we cannot possibly anticipate. 

With that in mind, I believe it is also our responsibility, if we have been given the privilege to have a voice and input into others' lives, to share our experiences and perspective and our “Maybe... but have you thought about this?” whenever an opportunity presents itself. In fact, I don’t think we should leave those opportunities to chance, but rather be intentional about sharing our experiences, and the successes and failures of our own choices, for what it’s worth, knowing that we will sometimes be ignored, and seldom thanked. But, if we make the choice to take the time to connect and cultivate those relationships in an appropriate manner, who knows how our own failures might be redeemed?

The truth comes out

I love how God, by His spirit, calls us each out of our own personal Egypt. And, let's face it, we are all in bondage to something. For many years, I was under Pharaoh's tyranny, believing I was a mistake, that I had to perform up to certain expectations to deserve my place, I was "less than" everyone else, I would never be good enough. I wasted years believing those lies and living in fear that I could never measure up, that I was destined to be a disappointment not only to my family, but to God.

A person can only live under that kind of oppression for so long. Hopefully, if there is any will to live we will eventually reach the point where we finally throw up our hands and say, "I give up, I can't do this anymore!" It's at the point of surrender to the folly of "doing it on our own" that He starts breathing truth into our spirit, which in turn causes us to desire more truth. Once we get a whiff of the fresh air of freedom, all we want to do is know Him more and to follow hard after Him. 

I guess that's what I get for asking Him to reveal the truth of who He really is. The next prayer I think I will dare to pray is for understanding and the boldness to live out - with grace - the difference between compromise and love.

Is it really love to politely pretend that a person has the right to live the way that feels right to them without warning them of the consequences of where they are headed? Hear me: I am NOT saying they don't have the right to choose for themselves how to live. We all have that right to choose (and look where it has landed us.)  Despite the warning almost 3,500 years ago: "Do not do as we are doing here today – each one doing whatever is right in his own eyes." (Deuteronomy 12:8), we insist in continuing on the same path of self-destruction. 

It's so easy, and in our Western culture, acceptable to throw our right to choose in our Creator's face and say, "Did God really say..." 
• And Elohim created the man in His image, in the image of Elohim He created him – male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27
• Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the stranger or the poor. And do not plot evil in your hearts against one another. Zechariah 7:10
• And do not lie with a male as with a woman, it is an abomination. Leviticus 18:22
• Do not curse a ruler of your people. Exodus 22:28
(These are just a few examples of our rebellion, based on samplings from current events.)

If we are really convinced that we have been given the grace to live a life of confidence, knowing who we are, knowing that He loves us, knowing why we are here, why do we let fear compromise that grace?  Is it fear of rejection, fear of what others will think of us, fear of what they will say about us behind our backs (or on Facebook/Twitter, etc.)?

Does it reflect love to let someone drive unknowingly off a cliff? 

I will offer a caveat of sorts here, though:  We are still, in every instance, to speak the Truth IN LOVE. No exceptions. So, there is my tightrope to walk. Weighing each word and action - is it love? Is it compromise?

I hate to be cliché, but What Would Yeshua Do? 

All scriptures quoted are from The Scriptures 2009, Institute for Scripture Research. You can read it at www.bible.com.

The Price of Love

Coming as I have from the generation that espoused "Free Love", I can tell you right now: The concept of "Free" love is nothing more than an illusion.

There is always a cost involved. And I am not talking about the inflated price of flowers and chocolate on Valentine's Day.

But let's just pretend we can redefine love to mean nothing more than copulation, there is still the price tag of potential STDs, unanticipated pregnancies, not to mention unintended emotional involvement or damage to the psyche of one or more of the parties involved. Hormones are surprisingly powerful chemicals that can easily overrule common sense or the most platonic intentions.

No... I'm not talking about the common definitions for love. According to David Lose, in his 2012 article in The Huffington Post, What Does The Bible Really Say About Love?, Hebrew, the original language of The Bible, uses about a dozen words to describe "a range of emotions from sexual desire to intimate friendship, and from covenantal fidelity to acts of mercy and kindness."¹ Nevertheless, our most common use of the word stems from the Greek eros - used to express passion, romance, and/or sexual intimacy.

The cost here is sometimes monetary: concert or movie tickets for a band or star we love, the afore-mentioned flowers and chocolate to impress someone on a special day. What we often overlook in this type of love is the time and energy involved, and as I have already pointed out, emotional or psychological damage frequently inflicted in immature or toxic relationships. I have no frame of reference as to what is the monetary cost for a professional "escort".

We frequently express love for our family or friends in the sense of the Greek phileo - a powerful, stable, constant emotion that expresses commitment rather than passionate emotions. Commitment of any kind always comes with a cost. The price we usually pay in this type of relationship has more to do with the subjugation of one's preferences, priorities, and energies to those of the people we love. Think of the boyfriends or husbands who endure yet another screening of Sleepless in Seattle or Mama Mia instead of Die Hard or The Dirty Dozen... simply to spend time with their partner whose choices in entertainment differ greatly from their own. How many mothers made their sandwich with the heel of the loaf so their kids could have the "soft slice"? Benign examples, I grant you, but the point remains: There is a cost on some level that we are gladly willing to pay if we think it will bring pleasure to someone we love.  If we love our jobs (or even if we hate our jobs, but love eating, wearing clothes, and having a place to live) we pay the price in time, energy, and frequently headaches and/or humiliation. (Just being honest here.)

The Greek agape is not used quite as often when we are talking about love, but of the three Greek words discussed here, it has the highest price tag of them all.

"Unconditional love that is always giving and impossible to take or be a taker. It devotes total commitment to seek your highest best no matter how anyone may respond. This form of love is totally selfless and does not change whether the love given is returned or not."² 

In the case of agape love, which I will readily admit is not my go-to definition, total commitment is the key phrase. 

I think of the prophet Amos who, out of obedience to God, married a prostitute as a prophetic picture of God's relentless love for His people. 

I think of the love Christ/Yeshua had for us, knowing full well the extent that his total commitment to his creation would be. 
I think of the rebellion that started in The Garden with Adam and Eve and continues to this day - yet God's love hasn't budged an inch. Despite all our rejection, He is totally committed to breaking down those walls we have built between us to transcend our frail little illusions of what love looks like.

My point to this discussion of "free love" is that:
When the full impact of that knowledge dawns on us, if we do not fall on our knees and cry out, "Be merciful to me! I am undone!" then we really have not grasped what true love really is and the reality that authentic love is never free. 

¹ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-lose/what-is-biblical-love_b_1271144.html
² https://www.ezilon.com/articles/articles/7675/1/God-is-Agape-Love

Headed for Elul

Deuteronomy 4:2 “Do not add to the Word which I command you, and do not take away from it, so as to guard the commands of יהוה your Elohim which I am commanding you. 

This thought came to mind this morning as I was reading the Torah portion for this week... 

We hear all the time the church accusing the Jews of giving more weight to the teachings of the rabbis and sages than to the Instructions which God Himself entrusted to them - which is true - Christ Himself got in a bit of hot water when He challenged them on this very issue... but what does the church turn around and do? They do the very same thing that they condemn the Jews for. There are so many people in mainstream denominations (and not so mainstream) who would much rather let their pastor or Sunday school teacher or Bible study leader do all the prep for them and spoon-feed them pablum instead of dusting off their Holy Bible and cracking it open to read it and think for themselves. And in so doing, we give more weight to the thoughts and leanings of "the professionals" than we do to the Very Word of the Most High. 

And also, we don't grow. We take our spoonful of sugar, think that the medicine has gone down, and go on our way - nothing has changed in our hearts or minds. We have checked off our to-do list:

•  Go to church
•  Sing a song
•  Drop a shekel in the plate

If 99.9% of the people who sit in the pews every Sunday morning would actually read through their WHOLE Bibles themselves every year... yes, even the "dry and boring" parts, and the stuff in the middle that everyone thinks should be left back in the desert, they would find some gems and nuggets in there that would probably upset their theological apple carts just a tad. At the very least, they might start wondering about passages such as Deut. 4:2 - "does that actually apply to us, too?" 

OF COURSE IT DOES! 

If we claim HIM as our Elohim, we certainly ought to be paying attention to what He says "His people" should do - how they should be living their lives as a reflection of Him. How we are to model holiness ("set-apartness") to the rest of the world. "Hey folks! Yes, you out there! THIS is what He says His people should look like!"

Instead, we go and do as Jeroboam did - as soon as the Kingdom was divided he set up his own religious system (this time with TWO golden calves, instead of one!) - and pretend that we can dictate to the Holy One how HE wants to be worshipped. 

Come on... if "God" is really the Almighty, the Holy One, the Creator of the Universe, who are WE to tamper with His Word? More importantly, who are we to dictate to Him what and how we want set-apartness to look like? What and how worship looks like? Answer: We are fooling ourselves into thinking we are serving Him when in reality, we are only serving ourselves, and then giving ourselves a little pat on the back for all the "suffering" we do, and the "sacrifices" we make to follow Him. 

We are really only serving ourselves.

Reminds me a little of a little hissy fit I threw a few years back in the Christian Family Bookstore (when it was still in business)... running into a display of "Christian pencils", "Christian bookmarks", "Christian flashlights", "Christian bingo"... really? Since when can inanimate objects worship the Most High God? Since when does a bookmark need to be redeemed? It's so ludicrous... it's nothing more than money changers in the Temple, in my opinion. They were using God as a marketing ploy. 

Who's Feckless Now?

I have caught flack on more than one occasion for voicing my distaste on the delicate subject of open mics at weddings or funerals. My experience has been that there are some people who, when handed a microphone, haven't the slightest idea of what an epitaph means: "a brief statement commemorating or epitomizing a deceased person or something past." It is not an opportunity to see who can prove they were closest to the happy couple or the recent dearly departed, with tales or jokes. Such attempts at humor, or worse - self-aggrandizement at the expense of someone else's name or reputation - are sadly nothing more than a display of poor self-esteem or poor upbringing.

Unfortunately, the compulsion to grab a moment of fame isn't restricted to the reception hall or funeral parlor. More than one person, given a platform - be it social media or guest spot on a talk show - has proven that s/he has no business handling a microphone until they have spent some time with Miss Manners.

Those who seize their right to be offensive should not be shocked that others take offense. - Miss Manners

I don't care which color you are on the political rainbow, rudeness and bullying of any family member of someone you don't like is nothing more than ill-mannered. And the recent brouhaha over Ivanka Trump Kushner's post of her sweet baby followed by her condolences in the wake of Kate Spade's apparent suicide has left me wondering if those jockeying for spots in the media limelight even own a dictionary, or know how to use Google to discover the meaning of a word they are so smartly battering around.

Feck is a Scots term that means "effect" or "majority" and comes from an alteration of the Middle English effect.  So, something without feck (or feckless) is without effect, or ineffective.

Hardly an apt description of a woman who graduated cum laude from an ivy league university, speaks three languages, uses her talents and resources to support Boys and Girls Clubs, National Urban League and other charitable organizations dedicated to helping children with cancer and EMS organizations. Ineffective? Not by my definition.

Maybe her critics are getting "feckless" confused with another archaic word that also begins with F? I cannot say. One such critic seems to have decided to forego higher education in favor of hogging the mic in pursuit of those accolades that the "Entertainment Industry" enjoys bestowing upon itself in recognition for numbing the masses with their dog and pony shows. I suppose that is considered "feck", or effective, in some circles. To me, it only serve to reinforce my mother's adage: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

But I doubt you would receive a Grammy or an Emmy for that.

Family and such

I recently came to the stunning realization that often our families know us the least of anyone. This thought came to me in the most innocent way... a gift from a loved one. While the gift was thoughtful and funny, the sentiment it expressed was light years from the personality and mindset of person to whom it was gifted.

If you have read any of my meanderings at all, you know that I am given to pondering the underlying moral or message of any given situation, and how it applies to me. (Or not.) What is the take-away value?

This is not the first time I have had this revelation when it comes to family. Probably the first that I am aware of was at the funeral of an aunt. I had known this person for almost 30 years. But I did not KNOW her. That's the funny thing about funerals, if they are done well. You learn things about a person that leaves you regretting that you did not take the time to know them better, and resolving to change your self-centered ways and let more people have an influence in your life.

But, why is it that our family often knows us less than other friends, or sometimes even co-workers? My theory is that family "knows" who you used to be... their memories of you define who you are in their mind. But that does not keep up with real time if you don't spend a lot of time with them. And let's face it, in our culture, that is not often our reality. My three siblings live STATES away from me. We measure our distance in the number of plane changes, or days it takes to drive there. We are thankful to be able to see each other once a year. Thank goodness for Google Hangouts for keeping in touch. Even so, we have other family who live close by, but with work schedules and kids activities, we are thankful to be able see each other once or twice a year for a summer BBQ or taco night. Everyone is going in their own direction (me included) and we just don't make the time. So the niece who was interested in art or the cousin who was interested in horses remains fixed in our minds and we do not keep up with current events and changes in outlooks and interests. We lose touch, but unlike a friend, there will always be the connection of family.

Can we honestly call it a connection when we are only connected by our name? I am loath to abandon a relationship merely because I have not made the effort to keep it current. But, other than abandoning all of my own interests, what is the answer?