Coming as I have from the generation that espoused
"Free Love", I can tell you right now: The concept of "Free" love is nothing more than an illusion.
There is always a cost involved. And I
am not talking about the inflated price of flowers and chocolate on Valentine's
Day.
But let's just pretend we can redefine love to mean nothing
more than copulation, there is still the price tag of potential STDs,
unanticipated pregnancies, not to mention unintended emotional involvement or
damage to the psyche of one or more of the parties involved. Hormones are
surprisingly powerful chemicals that can easily overrule common sense or the most platonic intentions.
No... I'm not talking about the common definitions for love.
According to David Lose, in his 2012 article in The Huffington Post, What Does The Bible Really Say About Love?, Hebrew, the original
language of The Bible, uses about a dozen words to describe "a range of
emotions from sexual desire to intimate friendship, and from covenantal
fidelity to acts of mercy and kindness."¹ Nevertheless, our most common use
of the word stems from the Greek eros
- used to express passion, romance, and/or sexual intimacy.
The cost here is sometimes monetary: concert or movie
tickets for a band or star we love, the afore-mentioned flowers and
chocolate to impress someone on a special day. What we often overlook in this
type of love is the time and energy involved, and as I have already pointed
out, emotional or psychological damage frequently inflicted in immature or
toxic relationships. I have no frame of reference as to what is the monetary cost for a
professional "escort".
We frequently express love
for our family or friends in the sense of the Greek phileo - a powerful, stable, constant emotion that expresses
commitment rather than passionate emotions. Commitment of any kind always comes
with a cost. The price we usually pay in this type of relationship has more to
do with the subjugation of one's preferences, priorities, and energies to those
of the people we love. Think of the boyfriends or husbands who endure yet
another screening of Sleepless in Seattle
or Mama Mia instead of Die Hard or The Dirty Dozen... simply to spend time with their partner whose
choices in entertainment differ greatly from their own. How many mothers made
their sandwich with the heel of the loaf so their kids could have the
"soft slice"? Benign examples, I grant you, but the point remains:
There is a cost on some level that we are gladly willing to pay if we think it
will bring pleasure to someone we love.
If we love our jobs (or even
if we hate our jobs, but love eating, wearing clothes, and having
a place to live) we pay the price in time, energy, and frequently headaches and/or humiliation. (Just being honest here.)
The Greek agape is
not used quite as often when we are talking about love, but of the three Greek
words discussed here, it has the highest price tag of them all.
"Unconditional love that is always giving and impossible to take or be a taker. It devotes total commitment to seek your highest best no matter how anyone may respond. This form of love is totally selfless and does not change whether the love given is returned or not."²
In the case of agape love,
which I will readily admit is not my go-to definition, total commitment is
the key phrase.
I think of the prophet Amos who, out of obedience to God,
married a prostitute as a prophetic picture of God's relentless love for His people.
I think of the love Christ/Yeshua had for us, knowing full well the extent that his total commitment to his creation would be.
I think of the rebellion that started in The Garden with Adam and Eve and continues to this day - yet God's love hasn't budged an inch. Despite all our rejection, He is totally committed to breaking down those walls we have built between us to transcend our frail little illusions of what love looks like.
I think of the rebellion that started in The Garden with Adam and Eve and continues to this day - yet God's love hasn't budged an inch. Despite all our rejection, He is totally committed to breaking down those walls we have built between us to transcend our frail little illusions of what love looks like.
My point to this discussion of "free love" is that:
When the full impact of that knowledge dawns on us, if we do not fall on our knees and cry out, "Be merciful to me! I am undone!" then we really have not grasped what true love really is and the reality that authentic love is never free.
¹ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-lose/what-is-biblical-love_b_1271144.html
² https://www.ezilon.com/articles/articles/7675/1/God-is-Agape-Love
² https://www.ezilon.com/articles/articles/7675/1/God-is-Agape-Love
