It was the 1980's, and we had recently discovered (and quickly devoured) the fantastic book series Anne of Green Gables written in 1908 by Lucy Maud Montgomery. As "luck" would have it, in 1985 a 4-hour Canadian mini-series based on the novels was produced by CBC. In this instance, I have to agree with Wikipedia: "widely considered the definitive version to date."
What brings this character and series to mind is a recurring complaint that I have in common with the titular character: "I know I chatter on far too much... but if you only knew how many things I want to say and don't. Give me SOME credit.”
In my case, I probably don't have to worry about chattering on far too much (unless you launch me into a tangent about which I have strong opinions,) but rather I often feel "if only people knew how much I want to say - and don't..." I feel your pain, Anne.
I learned many years ago that people don't always share my opinions on any number of topics, and I could be as correct as the Oxford dictionary or Encyclopedia Britannica and it wouldn't change anyone's mind who wants to hold on to their own beliefs. Of course, I can also be wrong about something - and obviously, no one likes the thought of having to reexamine their beliefs. Even less appetizing is contemplating that one could be wrong or have been misled in some of their beliefs. In my case, a challenging 10-year examination of my belief system and the resulting shift in how I view God and the Bible specifically, and religion in general. These days, it's a popular trend to "deconstruct" ones spiritual beliefs. I prefer the terms "reexamine" or "reevaluate" - because from the very beginning as I read and researched, my prayer was "Lord, take away everything that is not your Truth... but please don't take Jesus."
Having said that, I feel the need to address another popular trend, and that is the tendency to "cancel" anyone whose opinion differs from ones own. I find it ironic that one person can feel justified in believing that they have every right to hold a point of view that flies in the face of basic biology or physics, while holding to the idea that someone who does not share their POV does not deserve to have that same "right."
Lately, I've been wrestling with the question of how to proceed when confronted with the accusation that my beliefs are toxic or somehow abusive. I could understand that assertion if I was trying to force my opinion down that person's throat, but that is not the case (as far as I can tell.) Does the mere fact that I don't agree with someone make that a hateful act? I don't think so... if it were so, then the same logic would have to apply to the person who is disagreeing with me.
However, as I continue to read my Bible and keep my mouth shut, I am realizing that while I don't have to agree with someone, and I can (and should) give them the respect of having the right to their opinion - but I do not, and should not, have to change my opinion to suit them.
I liken it to two people playing a game together, but they are not playing the same game. One is playing checkers while the other is playing Candyland. If two people don't have the same "rules" or beliefs from the outset, the game will go nowhere. Of course, that analogy falls apart because one person could easily abandon their game board in favor of playing the same game, whereas ones core belief system of how they maneuver life's decisions is not so easily discarded.
I am not sure that I have an answer to this dilemma. But I know that I cannot simply chuck my belief in a loving God who created me and wants to be in relationship with me - with very clear criteria of what that looks like. The choices I make each day are based on how I understand that simple reality. Those are far bigger things to consider than if someone has decided to "unfriend" me for the simple reason that I am not going to jump on the current bandwagon of whatever social experiment is in vogue this year.
Sad, but true. Some may have the conviction that you should do ANYthing and EVERYthing you can to maintain a relationship, especially when it is a family member. I am not convinced.
Yes, I know that the Bible says (1 Jn. 3.11) ..."you have heard from the beginning that we should love one another." Guess what? Right after that, it says (v.13) "And do not be surprised, if the world hates you." So, this is me, not being surprised. Sad, but not surprised.
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