006:: Focus

My talented and insightful cousin-sister challenged me with her blog to come up with one word for 2014. She chose the word "reconciliation", which is an important one for sure. It got me thinking about what word would I chose that would serve as a goal or resolution for this year.

The things that bother her about social media are the same things I take exception to as well. We have discussed it before, and she said it so much better than I ever could, so I won't bother going there when you could so easily read what she has to say and understand us both.

For me, though, I am thinking the word I will choose will be: FOCUS.

I am so prone to losing my focus in so many ways... finishing a craft project, cleaning my house... sure, it's funny to joke about Adult ADD, but it's not funny to live there. I think part of my problem is lack of focus.

When we had the seemingly unsurmountable project of finishing remodeling our house to sell and move to Africa in 2000, I needed a really short leash to keep me on task. I'm thinking if I took the rest of my life as seriously as I did that dagger hanging over my head, I would get so much more accomplished that is meaningful, and the unimportant things that seem to suck the life out of my life would just fall along the wayside.

And I'm not just talking about doing things, but the thought the FOCUS has a lot to do with finding a purpose. Taking aim. Having a goal worth working toward.

Of course, it doesn't hurt to get some perspective. That is what my family is handy for.

005:: Out of focus

Isn't it odd how we look at other people's lives and we see what we see... but we don't see it all.

It makes me wonder what people see when they look at me. I am not an extraordinary person, unless you ask my husband. Yes, maybe I'm a little weirder than some, but I'm sure there are others who look at me and see "conservative", "old", "boring", "judgmental" - yet I am none of those. Well, ok... maybe a little old.

Things aren't always what they seem. And neither are people.

I am struck by the thought that we often give a negative spin to the things in our own lives while painting a rosy, unrealistic picture of what we see in others. The thought occurs to me that I need to stop that.

001:: Life is Just a Walk in the Park

It was kind of a let down, having a day off in the middle of the week. All that really means is that I don't get Friday off, so not much of a trade-off.

I was bound and determined not to waste it in my recliner frittering my life away online, so after spending the better part of the morning cleaning the kitchen and the Black Hole of Calcutta, we took off to Upper Park for a good dose of Vitamin D.

We were not the only bright folks with that bright idea. All of the parking lots were full, including the equestrian center. Nevertheless, my ankle was very cooperative, there was little breeze, meaning I was not obliged to don my jacket even once.

The only thing we could complain about was seeing the lake so low. Just one little honker family and a few coots in the reeds.

What a marvelous start to a marvelous year!

Awesome granary tree

Otherwise known as party pooper

I am resigned that I am not normal, and I am fine with that. What I am not fine with is people acting shocked or scandalized when they learn I do not do life the same as everyone else.
I am not rude about it: when people say "Merry Christmas!", I smile and say "thank you, same to you!" When people ask if I am ready for Christmas, I smile and say "ready as I'll ever be!"

I do not even bother explaining that I do not celebrate Christmas. I do not give them a lecture about dubious traditions and the commercialization of quasi-religious practices, nor do I rant about the use of phrases such as "It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas" or "Let's keep Christ in Christmas" being a façade of man-made practices taking the place of what was originally intended to be nothing more than a celebration of Emmanuel, God with us. The fact that the date is wrong is not even worth arguing about.

Really, what is the point? They would not appreciate my bashing of their cherished traditions any more than I do when they do the same to me. Besides, as I have said elsewhere, you do not change people's minds by winning an argument. And I am not so sure I would win any here, because people are comfortable with what is familiar.

Having said all that, I do my best to compromise and keep peace in my family when it comes to celebrating family times. I just ask that we keep the commercial separate from their so-called sacred. In that vein, it is our tradition to exchange gifts and have a family get-together on a day other than 12/25. We started that many years ago, and I find it to be the least offensive to everyone involved. Besides, it leaves plenty of room for spending 12/25 with their in-laws, and it works all around.

But I did have a little fun with someone when they texted me first thing in the morning on 12/25 with "A Merry Christmas to you!" by texting back: "Enjoy your Saturnalia Celebration!"

My orneryness is showing. ;-)

A Thursday to be Thankful For

 Popular culture dictates that we should list one thing on Facebook every day this month that we are thankful for. We should out-perform even Martha Stewart with the Thanksgiving table. We should score the best deals at door-busting sales. We should dress up the fam for Christmas card photos and trek to the earliest open Christmas tree lot to get started on the holiday cheer. If you did not know by now, I don’t play This Game by the same rules. Heck, I’m not even sure sometimes if we are even playing the same Game.

My Thursday was spent with my family, that much we do have in common. And for that I am indeed thankful, because so many souls have no family to spend any day with, much less a holiday. So many people have neither the means nor the physical ability to travel the distance to be with family who are far away. So many folks have “family” which are no family at all... or so toxic and unsafe as to warrant keeping your distance. I have none of that. I have two of the most delightful daughters anyone could dream of - both close at hand, and two precocious and hilarious grands to top off my Most-Amazing-Honey... making my holiday and my every day something I never take for granted, and am ALWAYS thankful for.

Three people who make my life a JOY

One thing we did not do was spend money. We did not bust down any doors. We did not, by any of our activities, compel any other person to give up their time with family or friends to stand behind a sales desk in order to witness hordes of people grasping over imaginary “deals”.

We watched children talking to chickens, people experimenting with new flavors and recipes, not worried about getting things “perfect”, dogs getting underfoot in the kitchen hoping to get lucky, people working together and laughing, pushing back from the table and groaning, and after all that, we gathered to watch a movie that we had all seen probably 100 times and could all quote the lines to.

Then we dragged our tired bodies home in silence and tired reflection about how very blessed we have been and are, and so I am going to bed filled with much thanks tonight.

I am so very thankful for two sets of parents who set the standard high when it came to putting value on the truly valuable. It is not our country. It is not our jobs. It is not our portfolios. It is each other. We are richer than rich in the things that truly matter. We have love and respect. We laugh together, we cry together, we support and encourage each other, and we cherish each other.

We are the most blessed of families every day. And today we paused and said it out loud.

A Day in the Life...

So, the day before Thanksgiving and my car is in the shop, I'm at work about to walk home where I will commence decorating for Hanukkah tonight, cleaning up the kitchen, and planning out my strategy for tomorrow's cooking.

DH made this swell window-safe Hanukkiah for me!

Thankfully, DD#2 is hosting this year's TG shindig, so I have been relegated to:

• Brocolli/mac 'n' cheese-y goodness
• Rice pilaf-y mushroom something
• Some Dutch oven cobbler dessert (which will hopefully be cherry crisp, if I can get to the store.)
• Lemon-Ginger kombucha for the Littles

I am also wallowing in thinking good thoughts about the rest of my Fam, who are scattered hither and yon on this holiday weekend. I have officially spent over 2/3 of my life apart from them - which does not prevent me from missing them and wishing we were closer. 

Thankfully, we were together this summer!

MY DH has been commissioned today with picking up our "race packets" for tomorrow's annual Run For Food which I wouldn't miss for the world... ok, maybe a little rain... but something that has turned into something of an iconic event for our little town.

He also has been sent to fetch yesterday's groceries from the trunk of my car (which is holed-up at the repair shop), and take the interior front door panels from said car to the body shop where they will hopefully be given a fresh lease on life and I will no longer have to cope with crumbling foam adhesive getting stuck to my clothes every time I get in and out of the car. (Yeah!)

Oh, I just started reading The Law and Grace by Todd Bennett. The mind blowing has now commenced.

So yeah, things going on. Life as usual. Carry on.

Happy "Whatever"

This seems to be the time of year when people can get a little wound up about friendly greetings. I see it all over social media these days... I tend to refer to them as "guilt trip posts."

So, just to satisfy my own curiosity, I did a little number crunching research...

How many "religions" are practiced in the United States
(where I happen to reside), and how many of those religions
observe a holiday during the winter season?

According to a 2012 Gallup Poll, there are quite a number of folks who self-identify with the "Christian" religion. (I would statistically fall within that category, but by no means do I share any number of practices with the rest of the folks who fall in that category.) And let's say for sake of argument that Mormons generally consider themselves to fall within the category of "Christian." That would come to (as Gallup claims) 77.3% of the U.S. population that prefer the label of "Christian" when describing their religious preference.

And, even though their numbers do not total 100%, there are still 4.9% of the U.S. population who affiliate with another religion. (I am not exactly sure where Pagans, Shinto, Buddhists, Sikhs, Hindus, Bahá'í, or Rastafarians fit into that dynamic.) I never could determine how many religions are actually practiced, but I think it is really beside the point.

But from what I can gather just online, these U.S. citizens also celebrate holidays during the Fall and Winter months.

According to http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/tools/calendar/, holidays or celebrations observed by other religions between the months of November and January include:

• Jews - Hanukkah/Chanukkah and Tu Bishvat.
• Hindus - Dhan Teras, Diwali, Kartik Poornima, and Makarsankranti / Pongal.
• Muslims - Hijra - Islamic New Year, Ashura and Milad un Nabi.
• Sikhs - Guru Nanak Birthday, Guru Tegh Bahadur Martyrdom, Guru Gobind Singh Birthday, Maghi - Lohri, and Guru Har Rai Birthday.
• Buddhists - Bodhi Day, and Mahayana New Year.
• Shinto - Shichigosan (7-5-3 festival), Niinamesei, Oshogatsu (or Shogatsu), and Seijin Shiki (Adults' Day)
• Bahá'í - Birth of Baha'u'llah, Day of the Covenant, and Ascension of Abdu'l-Baha, 
• Pagans - Winter Solstice
• Rastis - Coronation of Emperor Haile Selassie I, Ethiopian Christmas Day.
• African-Americans (of any or no particular religion) - Kwanzaa.

Add the above to the 20 Holidays / Feast Days / Saints' Days that are celebrated by the "Christian" church (in all of its incarnations), and you can see why I think it is absurd to take it as a personal affront whether others say "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas" around this time of year.

How is a perfect stranger supposed to know what you do or do not celebrate?

Folks, we Christians did not invent the concept of a holiday. And if you want to get quite technical about it, let's start a discussion about why the Christian church celebrates holidays that are not even in the Bible... especially in light of Deuteronomy 12:4 - Never worship YHVH your Elohim in the way they worship their gods.
(And there are hundreds of thousands of Messianics / Hebrew Christians / Netzarim who identify with Jesus/Y'shua as the Jewish Messiah, but eschew the current popular observances of "Christmas" to be pagan in origin. So, where does that leave us?)

Can we stop with the arguing, already?

When someone says "Happy Holidays", just smile and take it in the manner it was intended: a friendly greeting. Period.