Anxious and Annoying

I had an interesting conversation this morning with a former NorthState resident; we were commenting on the sudden and unexpected death of our Congressman Doug LaMalfa that hit the news this morning. Not everyone in our district was a fan of Doug, as evidenced by the weekly protesters outside of our business complex where he had his office.

I must have indicated some hesitation in my response, because she surmised that I was "non political." 

No - not even an inch. I decided long ago that "being political" was a not just a waste of my time and energy - seriously, what of anything that I could do would make a difference? (Aside from voting, of course.) I told her that getting myself worked up about what the bigwigs were up to just made me anxious and annoying, not to mention the rise in my blood pressure.

And I will admit to being more than a bit snarky at the protesters every week as I crossed their "picket line."

I did like Doug, and was sorry to hear the sad news. I think it is telling when people are glad to hear about the death of someone they disagree with. Besides that, "This world is not my home."

RIP Congressman LaMalfa

2025:: That's a wrap

It's hard to know where to start when the whole year is a blur. I'm sure we went places and did things, saw people and endured the summer heat. All those things are "the usual" of our lives. Honestly, looking back it feels like we were not much more than pachinko balls bouncing from one forgettable pin to the next. If I sound melancholy... well, I guess I am. 

What I know: I had coffee (or lunch) with various friends on various occasions, in mostly diverse locations. If I were to say those times were the highlights of my year, you might be tempted to think I live a pathetic life, but the truth is, all of those times were refreshing, insightful, and reflective. A real opportunity to share my heart and listen to the heart of a friend. A time of honest connection. I believe that if more people sought out those honest connections on a regular basis, our world would be a healthier place.

I know that at one point this year I finally had breakthrough dealing with the after effects of an event that has darkened my life for 60 years. In the space of a month, I was able to speak of it to more people than I have over the previous 60 years and each time I do that, more of the garbage is taken out and my mental and emotional play list is about getting freedom from the lies of the deceiver.

I know that spending time in Scripture is affirming in ways I did not realize it could be. Things that are difficult to navigate become clearer. I am able to turn away from the toxic in some people and learn to be more generous with giving people the benefit of the doubt when their actions do not line up with my thought process.

I know that as much as I love my family - both immediate and extended - I have to lay down my expectations. We are not Ozzie and Harriet. 

I know that as much as I would love to visit many places, the reality is that I do not enjoy the traveling that it takes to get to those places... and I really just do not like leaving home. 

I know that I am blessed beyond measure to have a husband who doesn't always understand me, but who values me, asks my opinion, loves me, and still thinks I'm "beautiful." And this, after 54 years. Yes, I am very aware and very thankful for that fact every single day. (Not only that, he vacuums and does the dishes.)

I know that the very sure prospect of death at some point in time does not overwhelm me. I am, however, enough of a control freak that I have written my own obituary and planned my memorial in advance. Some people find that morbid, but I find it mortifying to have things said about me that are not true. And the truth is, I am probably not the person that most people think I am. I can see it in the raised eyebrow or look of surprise when I make a random statement about my faith or personal beliefs. (That's OK... you don't have to agree with me. For goodness sake, I don't always agree with other people either, but it's always nice when we can have confidence that God is working on each of us in His own time.)

...and with that said, I say adios to 2025. No New Years' resolutions for me, but I am going to try to wrap my brain around adopting this verse for the year 2026: 

Colossians 3:15 - Let the shalom which comes from the Messiah be your heart's decision-maker...

My Roots... and Resulting Branches

I believe that I have mentioned previously that I grew up in the Southern Baptist denomination. (One thing to remember: Southern Baptists in California look and sound vastly different from those you will find in the actual South. And I'm not just talking about a southern drawl.)

As a matter of fact, it is true that I have been "going to church" since the first Sunday I landed on this planet. Growing up, we knew that if the church doors were open, we were to be there. For one thing, my mother was the church secretary for many years after my youngest sibling reached school age until she finally retired. For another thing, we lived in the "heartland" of the California Southern Baptist Convention, and it is no surprise that the majority of my church friends had parents who worked for or were ordained by the SBC. To say our world was "church-centric" would be spot on.

That I met my future husband at a Southern Baptist college should also come as no surprise, but much to everyone's shock and dismay, I did not immediately "walk down the aisle" to move my membership to my new husband's home church the first Sunday after we were married. When my new sister-on-law invited us to visit her church, my in-laws were not best pleased. Do not laugh when I tell you that I had a visit from their pastor within the few few months of our marriage, admonishing me that I was leading my husband astray...

Over the ensuing years, it has been a journey of discovery to note how many things I grew up taking for granted as "truth" were a result of tradition or the SBC heritage, rather than based on Scripture. But first, let me state that I am not one to throw out a tradition just because it does not appear in the Bible. That would be like throwing out Reese's Peanut Butter cups or mochas just because the apostles never had them. That would just be silly. Nor will I claim that I was indoctrinated by some cult and grew up with some wildly heretical point of view. I can honestly say that I believe Baptists got more things right than wrong, at least in my experience/opinion. And - like I said - this is California, not Mississippi or Texas. I can hardly speak for anyone else's experience. 

I can find nothing wrong in teaching children Bible stories, helping them see how those faith lessons can be applied to their own lives, and encouraging young people to think of others first and ask themselves how their actions fit in with being a good Christian witness. These are what I have taken away from growing up in what is commonly known as a conservative denomination. 

What I learned that I had to later unlearn were things like we were the only denomination who "got it right" when it came to how we understood and lived out our faith. The way we baptized (total immersion by water only!), the way we took communion (once a month, soda crackers and grape juice only!), the way we worshipped (don't you be raising your hands! This is not a Pentecostal church!) were just the start. 

But even as I transitioned to attending a different (albeit mainstream) denomination, there were still things being taught that I have since had reason to reconsider and reject as extra-Biblical tradition. Ironically, much of my "re-examining" has been thanks to the teachings and writing of some former Southern Baptist or other so-called "conservative" teachers or pastors. 

Am I saying I now have all the answers? No. I am saying that I have come to a place of being willing to weigh the idea that what I thought was Truth may have just been the result of someone's interpretation, but is not necessarily supported by Scripture. Once I figured out that I had enough basic intelligence to read and study scripture without some theologian or divinity student holding my hand and telling me how I should interpret everything, it was only a short trip to realizing that maybe we have not come up with all the right answers, even after all these years.

So, spoiler alert: I still believe the Bible is true. I still believe God created the universe and everything in it. I still believe Jesus died to set us free from the curse of sin. I have yet to figure out how we arrived at other doctrines that have been handed down through the centuries by various denominations, such as "once saved-always saved", "the Church has replaced Israel", and "the Sabbath is now Sunday - or any day I want to take my rest." 

A few things to think about: Myths we believe

What I don't say...

 It was the 1980's, and we had recently discovered (and quickly devoured) the fantastic book series Anne of Green Gables written in 1908 by Lucy Maud Montgomery. As "luck" would have it, in 1985 a 4-hour Canadian mini-series based on the novels was produced by CBC. In this instance, I have to agree with Wikipedia: "widely considered the definitive version to date."

What brings this character and series to mind is a recurring complaint that I have in common with the titular character: "I know I chatter on far too much... but if you only knew how many things I want to say and don't. Give me SOME credit.”

In my case, I probably don't have to worry about chattering on far too much (unless you launch me into a tangent about which I have strong opinions,) but rather I often feel "if only people knew how much I want to say - and don't..." I feel your pain, Anne.

I learned many years ago that people don't always share my opinions on any number of topics, and I could be as correct as the Oxford dictionary or Encyclopedia Britannica and it wouldn't change anyone's mind who wants to hold on to their own beliefs. Of course, I can also be wrong about something - and obviously, no one likes the thought of having to reexamine their beliefs. Even less appealing is contemplating that one could be wrong or have been misled in some of their views or beliefs. In my case, a challenging 10-year examination of my personal faith upbringing and the resultant shift in how I view God and the Bible specifically, and religion in general. These days, it's become a popular trend to "deconstruct" ones spiritual beliefs, a thin disguise for abandoning them altogether. I prefer to "reexamine" or "realign" - because from the very beginning as I read and researched the belief system I held dear, my prayer was "Lord, take away everything that is not your Truth... but please don't take Jesus."

Having said that, I feel the need to address another popular trend, and that is the tendency to "cancel" anyone whose opinion differs from ones own. I find it ironic that one person can feel justified in believing that they have every right to hold a point of view that flies in the face of basic biology or physics, while holding to the idea that someone who does not share their POV does not deserve to have that same "right."

Lately, I've been wrestling with the question of how to proceed when confronted with the accusation that my beliefs are toxic or somehow abusive. I could understand that assertion if I was trying to force my opinion down that person's throat, but that is not the case (as far as I can tell.) Does the mere fact that I don't agree with someone make that a hateful act? I don't think so... and if it were so, then the same logic would necessarily apply to the person who is disagreeing with me. 

However, as I continue to read my Bible and keep my mouth shut, I am realizing that while I don't have to agree with someone, and I can (and should) give them the respect of having the right to their opinion - but I do not, and should not, have to change my opinion to suit them. (Reexamine, yes. We should all be willing to do that.)

I liken it to two people playing a game together, but they are not playing the same game. One is playing checkers while the other is playing Candyland. If two people don't have the same "rules" or beliefs from the outset, the game will go nowhere. Of course, that analogy falls apart because one person could easily abandon their game board in favor of playing the same game, whereas ones core belief system of how they maneuver life's decisions is not so easily discarded.

I am not sure that I have an answer to this dilemma. But I know that I cannot simply chuck my belief in a loving God who created me and wants to be in relationship with me - with very clear criteria of what that looks like. The choices I make each day are based on how I understand that simple reality. Those are far bigger things to consider than if someone has decided to "unfriend" me for the simple reason that I am not going to jump on the current bandwagon of whatever social experiment is in vogue this year. 

Sad, but true. Some may have the conviction that you should do ANYthing and EVERYthing you can to maintain a relationship, especially when it is a family member. I am not convinced.

Yes, I know that the Bible says: (1 Jn. 3.11) ..."you have heard from the beginning that we should love one another." Guess what? Right after that, it says (v.13) "And do not be surprised, if the world hates you." 

So, this is me, not being surprised. Sad, but not surprised. But I am going to continue to do my best to align my actions with another Biblical instruction: "speaking the truth in love..."

15 Minute Ramble

Yesterday my friend challenged herself to writing daily for just 15 minutes, attempting to break a habit we all have: wasting time on such frivolities as watching TV or playing a video game. I can pat myself on the back for not falling prey to the first vice, but the second one surely has me hooked. I convince myself that I am "exercising my brain" - important to us who have the dubious privilege of having Alzheimer's in our family and finding ourselves to be of an age that worries about that kind of thing every time we find ourselves repeating a story, misplacing our keys (or glasses, or phone...)

It would be easy enough for me to look back on my day and lament the things that I did not get done - but I'm rarely willing to admit that the amount of time spent on sudoku or mahjong contributed to that. 

It's all well and good to acknowledge our shortcomings, but that is the easy part of the battle. I like to claim that my sister inherited all of our mother's "self-discipline gene" - just reading her daily rundown of things accomplished makes me want to take a nap. (Although, to be completely honest, most anything these days makes me want to take a nap... so, there is that.)

Just knowing that we have an area that needs some work and then ignoring it by playing a puzzle is, in my mind, akin to an alcoholic who acknowledges they might have a "problem" as they crack open another can. Or, another analogy that we can all identify with: hearing the alarm clock and knowing it's time to get up, then rolling over in bed for another 15 minutes. (Bazinga!)

I have read countless self-help books and websites designed to inspire and motivate me to focus on the areas that I know should be priorities, but setting the book down or turning off the computer is really the answer. 

Watching TV

Today's post is from my friend ToriLynn...

There are probably one hundred reasons I waste my time watching TV several hours a day. And probably a few reasons of why it is so hard to break the habit.

When I was a kid, the default on Saturday and in the evenings was to be plopped in front of the TV. We watched whatever the parents wanted. We were rather well-versed on current events because they watched the news and all the things going on. I remember the Nixon/Kennedy debate. I remember the hullabaloo after Kennedy was shot. I remember Lyndon B Johnson lifting his beagle up by its ears. I remember the moon landing footage, and the riots in Watts and the tanks going down Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley, California. And I remember the Mr. Ed song, ‘A horse is a horse of course of course, unless of course it's a talking horse...’ and many more, Casper, and Miss Nancy, and Captain Kangaroo. And Sunday at 7 p.m. was an hour of the Wonderful World of Disney programs.

It's not that I (we) didn't play outside or in our rooms. We sure did! But my mom wasn't a "Go outside and play!" type of a mother, most of the time. Sometimes... but not usually. If we got rambunctious that was another story. We rode bikes and climbed on rocks and in trees and shot our little cowboy pistols at bad guys and went over to the friend's house down the street to play hide and seek in the dark and my sister and I even had a Kool-Aid stand for 2¢ a paper cup. But we always came in before supper and watched afternoon cartoons. I don't know why.

As a little girl, I contracted Rheumatic Fever and had to not be active for months at a time. The second time I got it, I was in bed for six weeks. My mom piggy-backed me to the bathroom because she followed the doctor's instructions to the tee. That lasted a day or so before she decided that I was just across the hall from the toilet and I was ten and pretty normal size for my age... not a little kid. But I was in bed with books and the teacher, Mr. Hackett, came by with homework once a week. That was when I read Black Beauty and the one thing I remember most was that Ginger, the horse, got her tail cut down to nothing and couldn't swat flies away from her anymore. That was probably when I learned to be a voracious reader. But still, you could watch TV from the couch made up as a bed... And on my 11th birthday, the girls came over and we had a dinner party. We played pin the tail on the donkey out back, and then we went in to watch the first ever showing of "Flipper, faster than lightning, no one you see is smarter than he... under the sea." So, TV was used as an enforcement for keeping quiet. Which may have led to "self-medicating" on TV as an adult. It's always about being physically quiet.

I still read sometimes, but my sight isn't as good as it used to be and you can make the print on electronics as big as you want it to be. (The Bible is not very generous in the print sizes.) Electronic research is so nice now, but it's not as trustworthy as the old card catalogue and running around the library looking for the reference books, nor as fun as writing information out and having all the papers spread around, cutting the sections apart and putting them in order. The original cut and paste. Yet the default is TV or YouTube or scrolling. 

Why is TV the default when I'm feeling restless? Who knows? But I am currently working on doing other activities. Yes, I still watch things, but I'm trying to do one thing between Andy Griffith and Leave It To Beaver; between "Matlock" and Elsbeth. Eventually, when Father Brown episodes run out, I will not replace it with another show, but with a project or walking the dog a second time. One new practice, that I pray I can stick to daily, is writing 15 minutes a day. Perhaps praying a little more would be a very good thing. My health is good enough to be active, pickleball? More time cleaning house and doing yard work? Only the LORD knows. But with prayer and encouragement, it can change and my life can be more productive.

You've Heard it Said... (Part 2)

How many times have I heard people say things like, "There are 613 Commandments in the Torah - I can't keep them all!" (Usually followed by another misconception, such as: "The law is a curse!")?

I will tell you - I cannot count the times...

But I do have to wonder: these people who think it is "impossible" to keep the Commandments - have they ever actually read the list of commandments? My guess is "No."

I Googled it once and found a helpful website, Hebrew4Christians, which lists the commandments and the corresponding scripture for each. One of the very first things I noticed as I made my way down their list was the overlapping of commandments. In fact, the website comments on this:

The website goes on to comment that "some laws do not apply at to [Gentiles] at all (for example, laws concerning Temple practices, agricultural laws, civil laws...)" etc. By the time you cross out anything that applies to the King, a judge... and whatever other category does not apply to you, the arbitrary number of "613" has been significantly reduced.

I was encouraged to read a similar comment on a Bible study website that I follow:

The common refrain ... is “There are 613 laws, we can’t possibly keep them all!” This is pretty much always spoken by someone who has never taken the time to read Leviticus and know that no one is asking us to obey all 613 laws. Are you a Levitical priest? Are you a farmer? Are you a woman? Are you a man? Are you a judge? Do you live in Jerusalem? Is there an earthly temple right now?  If you answered “no” to any one of these questions then a large portion of those 613 don’t even apply to you. Answer “no” to more than one? Even fewer.

Our duty can be summed up in what is known as the Ten Commandments.  If we set our hearts to follow those and to remain in His word, seeking His guidance on our lives, all other commandments (laws) that apply to us will naturally follow suit.

In contrast, there are so many laws in the United States that they do not even have a count of them but estimates are that they exceed 25,000. Most folks I know will proudly state that they are a law abiding citizen of the United States.

And that’s when the real reasons come out for why people don’t want to obey God: We feel we are being “inconvenienced” when it comes to giving up things we want to do, and can’t understand why God won’t let us do things like eat bacon or spare ribs, go to a baseball game on Saturday, and other seemingly “harmless” things that everyone else is doing, and they’re fine! So why shouldn’t I? God is not that mean, God doesn’t care about such trivia; after all “Jesus Paid It All” and it’s now all about Grace, Grace, Grace. I mean, "Jesus nailed all that to the cross, right?"

Again - have these same people actually read their Bibles? And again, my guess is: "No." Because if they did, they would have read in Colossians 2:13-14: 

When you were dead in your trespasses and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our trespasses, having canceled the debt ascribed to us in the decrees that stood against us. He took it away, nailing it to the cross!

This is the verse so many people quote, thinking that it means "Jesus nailed 'the Torah' to the cross." But if you go back and read it again with fresh eyes, not influenced by all the so-called doctrine you have heard all these years, you can see for yourself that Jesus nailed our DEBT to the cross. It simply does not mean the same thing!

Back in 2016, I posted about wearing tzitzit... in which I mused:

I don't need a "logical" reason. I need to do it because He asked me to.

In my mind, the same logic applies to our basic obedience to God's instructions for living a godly life. Because that is exactly what "The Law" is - God's instruction manual. It's not a set of arbitrary rules set down by a "mean God;"  instead, they are principles to live by that will bring us blessing. That is what He promised, and that is what I believe is true.

If you don't agree with me, see for yourself what Jesus said about it.

(... and you may have noticed, I have already expounded on this same topic previously... but it keeps coming up!)